April 25, 2021

Real Talk Episode #2 Part 2 – just released!

We are excited to celebrate the continuation of our official podcast launch with Real Talk Episode #2 Part 2! This is a continuation of the first episode of our 2nd series of Chaminger Becoming Xceptional. Are you ready to have the real talk with yourself? It is time to listen to someone else start their self-reflection journey and see if you can relate or do the same things. Check out the audio and transcript of our entire episode below. We appreciate you for starting the journey to #BecomingXceptional with us!

We celebrated our launch with a successful livestream party. Check out the recordings here:

Youtube: https://youtu.be/m8gxXMGwTJ0

Facebook: https://fb.watch/54vydvqXkI/


Listen to Real Talk Episode #2 Part 2

Real Talk Episode #1: Beginning Self-Reflection Part 2
Real Talk Episode #1: Beginning Self-Reflection Part 2
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And read along – the transcript:

Fabian: Hey, what’s up everybody. My name is Fabian Chagoya.

Alejandro: And this is Alejandro Chagoya   

Fabian: And this is Real Talk, a show all about the journey of self-improvement and discovering yourself and the harsh truths associated with that and finding success. 

Welcome back to Real Talk by Chaminger. Thank you for joining us as we continue our previous discussion on the journey to Becoming Xceptional, since this is a multi-part episode. If you’ve not watched a previous segment, we highly recommend it for context, but feel free to continue and experience the valuable message delivered in this episode, regardless.

We appreciate you. We hope you enjoy today’s Real Talk.

   What was her name? And what’s your statement to her?

Alejandro: No, no, let’s not go there. That’s, that’s not necessary. I really think it’s an interesting point that you brought up there, because I do feel like it very much conditioned how I interact with authority figures as a result. I mean, I was, I want to say, more of a happy go lucky sort of child at that point in time. I might’ve even been more of a troublemaker, had I gone along that route. I could say it shapes how my personality, to no small extent, to how,  I am today and how I interact, like I said, with authorities.

Fabian: Do you think it’s because  you came there,  all you had experienced was we were raised by our parents in a very loving, accepting, ‘be you’ environment.  In Germany, the same thing with our aunts and grandparents and then in that short little stint of that kindergarten and the same thing in Mexico.

And then you come to the U.S., you go to this kindergarten and then all of a sudden it’s like you’re in military. You have, it’s like these rules, these things like, you’re being yelled at, you’re being criticized, all this stuff.

You feel like it was a response to that? It was like, Oh my gosh, I can’t be me. Was that kind of like what happened or why do you feel it got to that point that it changed you? Because you literally are saying that it changed your behavior and that, for me, is super interesting. And that’s something that we need to keep going back to because that, those are the things, those are the keys.

When you realize where you’re like, Ooh, that caused a major shift. That’s when you say, hold on, wait a minute, what happened here? So you feel like that was it just- what was it that made you want to change? In that moment or what not want, but, like feel like you had to?

Alejandro: Yes, I would say it was- let’s not mince words, it was fear-based pretty much  that I would, uh, would suffer the consequences  for not  respecting the rules, for not, for not abiding by her authority. So I, I felt, I guess in large part , this aspect of fear that drove me to just have perfectionism that I had then to be at my best behavior, I had to be the best sort of person that I could be. Maybe even that might’ve led to my whole drive of being, uh,  academically successful.

We started from nothing in kindergarten, but we ended up being one of the best students there. And then from every year after that, we were academically driven to be the best that we could be. And it would be interesting to see if that didn’t have some small impact.

Although I know that as a small child, I mean a little off topic, I know that I was concerned already about the big future as an adult and wondering like what, what’s going to happen? How am I going to do things? And, and thinking, Oh, so, one thing that would be under my control, which I think is an interesting point to note here, one thing that would be in my control is to be a good student. And then if I do well, then maybe everything, w ill come into place by itself as a result. That was my thinking. And I think that was the underlying thought process for a lot of things that I did.  I’d say even  to some extent to this day that the specter of that still sort of lingers on me. Well, more like the aftermath, I should say, maybe lingers as a result of that, that thought

Fabian: Well, we should not move on. There’s a lot that needs to be discussed right there. Um, that there’s a lot of important things that you just said. I think, and this is the essence of what we’re doing right here. It’s really banter, sharing our stories, but really doing a deep dive into it,  viewing it from a different way.

I mean, do you see what I’m talking about, Alejandro? Like, you start realizing like, wait a minute, wait a minute. What happened here? And that’s when things get interesting. You said that you feel like that was one of the biggest pieces,  it almost drove this perfectionism within you, right? Like that experience in kindergarten.

Alejandro: I can’t help, but wonder if that maybe was part of the root of that. I mean sure, our parents wanted us to be successful because there’s this general idea that if you do well in school, that you’ll do well in life. We can’t deny that that’s hammered into us at an early age, certainly. And my parents really believed that as well. We can’t deny that, that having a good education is an invaluable resource. Let’s let’s not say otherwise, of course.

Fabian: Well, let’s, let’s talk a little bit more about perfectionism. I think that is something that is the root of many issues for people today, including myself. I know that whenever I wanted to do something or try something new, there was this deep, almost unfounded desire or need to do it hundred percent from the get-go.

Alejandro: Yes, so perfectionism. It’s been a long, long time thing that I’ve also struggled with.  You were saying earlier  that you had certain things that you wanted to do, but you were hesitant to want to do them because you felt, if you couldn’t be perfect doing it, then you wouldn’t want to do it at all. I, uh, can say that it’s been the same with me.  Even from, from things like  hobbies, just fun things. If there’s concern that you have to, be the best, you have to be good at it. And if not, then can you really enjoy it? Can you really do this? Why do I really feel that way? It’s an excellent question, to be honest. Um, I’m not sure really now that you mentioned it.

Fabian: You know what let’s hear from you first, because I can share my take on it, but I want to hear what you have to say. Why do you feel like you have this need to be perfect when you do something?

Alejandro: I would say from what I’ve observed, especially right now what we’ve been discussing, I think it’s a matter of control to some extent. That you feel that in a world where there’s all this chaos, all this uncertainty, especially for us where we had to, as diplomat children, we had to move constantly. We had to always adapt, which is a very useful skill, but there’s all this  uncertainty with that lifestyle. Our mother was often then in charge of having to take care of us. And there were a lot of responsibilities just because of this position that my dad had. So, uh, not, and my mother had faced them admirably. 

I’m just kind of straying off topic anyway, regardless, control. That’s that’s really what I feel is the crux of the matter here that you feel that if you are uncertain about these things in your life, you have some way of controlling things. By being perfect, you know that you’ve done the best you can to ensure the best outcome for you, for the people important to you. And if you can’t achieve that, then you feel hesitant to embark on that journey, to try these things, to try new things. Then you run the risk of not being perfect, you leave then your comfort zone, your safe zone. And, and then that all these negative associations that you’ve built up over time,  come into play then. And that’s  what you dread facing.  I think that, that wound, I guess you could call it, is what resurfaces. Even for these insignificant things that really have no connection to it, but they come to mind and that association clicks right then. And that’s what holds you back.

Fabian: What wound are you talking about?

Alejandro: What wounds?

Fabian: Stemming from like this kindergarten experience?

Alejandro: Um, not necessarily just from that. I would say, as I was starting to touch on there, with our parents. Uh, I feel that there was a certain, um, uncertainty and I think, well, there’s the expectation when, now that you mentioned it, there was one area I did not bring up before. I mean, sure as I said,  very briefly in passing earlier, there was his underlying fear, even as a child, of wanting to make sure  that things would turn out okay in the future for me.

Fabian:  Say what you feel.

Alejandro: Well, I certainly feel that on one hand, there are these expectations that  society and certainly our parents had for us, but, on a more personal and sensitive note, I feel that, that as a child, I struggled for a long time with, with being sickly. And even though we were a family that was decently well off and we shouldn’t have had any issues, I had these health issues for quite a long time. I mean, basically I was, I don’t want to say malnourished, but I had had these issues and my  parents would always take me frequently to doctors, to the hospital to get checked on. All these measures that they went through to try to make sure that I was okay. They were wonderful, loving parents, but at the same time, I don’t want to make it sound like I’m blaming them here because that’s not what I want to say. 

I felt an incredible amount of guilt, that I was bringing this upon them that, that they had to do all this for me. And I know that they did it out of love and concern, but at the same time, I felt  like I was, in a way, almost undeserving of that. I was being a burden, basically like a leech, sucking away all their resources there. And, and it would just like in a bottomless pit, kept on going and going and didn’t seem to make any difference.

 I felt horrible about this as a small child. I remember once telling you about this,  Fabian. How I was, like, would have been about like eight years old ,crying in the bathroom. I was praying to God. I wanted to know why was it that I was the way I was, that I was sickly and my parents had spent so much on me here and it didn’t make a lick of difference apparently.  Why was I given this privileged life? And then there were these people starving to death, dying from all sorts of diseases. And there was this idea of why do I deserve to live and they don’t? This sense of worthlessness, essentially, I think already going back to that point. Coupled with this concern of perfectionism, of wanting then to be the best.

And I guess, in a way, that was a way to validate myself. If I was the best in school, not only would I  guarantee then my future, as I saw it, that I would prove then that I had worth, that I was up to something. But even that wasn’t enough for me. 

So I was constantly in search of a purpose in my life and I came, years down the road, to the conclusion that I enjoyed helping people. So then that was my focus. That’s what I was going to do: to help people in whatever way I could. And this was a very seemingly selfless goal, but I think there was that underlying issue, that in a way it was validation for me. That’s proof that I had, had worth , that I had something to offer to people and to society.

I don’t know what your thoughts on the matter. That’s really deep.  I’m sorry. I threw it all on you right now.

 Fabian: I mean, honestly, it’s emotional. I commend you. This is what I’m talking about. This is the goal of it, like talking about these things. But talking about them, you know, to let it out, but also talking about it to learn from it and find what are the things that make you who you are and how can you change those things or just embrace them and lean into them.

So, first of all, I mean, I respect you for saying that, like that’s a lot, most people could not do that. So you already win just from that point alone. Seriously, dude, like that’s hard. It’s hard. There’s some deep, dark stuff right there, but good stuff. I mean, you need to say it and yes, most of that rings a bell.

It’s hard to think that. And it’s crazy think that you thought those thoughts when you were like a kid. I mean, my first question is why do you think you even thought that way when you were that young? I know a lot of people that I’ve met just recently here in Colorado, like mid twenties, early thirties, like they don’t even think about their life that way and we’re talking like adults, and  they’ve never done self-reflection to that level. And you already were doing that when you were eight.

Alejandro: That’s a really good question. I’m not sure actually now, I mean, a lot of these other things I’ve given quite a bit of thought, but that’s actually a good point. I’m not really sure what exactly was the origin of this now that you mentioned it.  I’m sure there’s something.

Fabian: Well, we should shelf it, but it’s something to keep in mind.

Alejandro: Of course

Fabian: I wanted to address a few other things there. One perfectionism, before we move on from that I know you keep going back to that, I think there’s something to be said about striving for it. I think it’s a good thing. It’s having standards for oneself and setting goals.  That part of perfectionism is a very good, positive boon, but then you have the dark side of perfectionism. Which is kind of where you were coming from, where it’s almost like if you don’t do it or you can’t get to that point, then there’s not even a reason to try. Right? Like, can you relate to that side of it?

Alejandro: Yes. Yes, absolutely.

Fabian: So what if I told you that that is almost really just a guise of insecurity?

Alejandro: Insecurity? Yes, it certainly would be, yes.

Fabian: So, let me elaborate on what you mean-  that I mean by that. Like, for example, doing this business and podcast and episodes, one of the biggest concerns for the longest time, and I’m sure many other content creators can relate is: do I even want to put my stuff out there? Why would people listen to me?

And obviously, there’s a lot of credentials, and I haven’t gotten into this on- into them necessarily on this show, but in other stuff. Establishing credibility is important, but it, the quality of the content and our thoughts and our communication should speak for itself.  There’s so many people that would not even try because they’re so worried about getting it perfect. The audio has to be perfect, the picture has to be perfect, all these things have to be perfect. So they just don’t do it. But really what if it’s just they’re afraid about what people are going to say if it’s not? They’re so worried about, Oh, how am I going to look? What are people going to say? So I’m just not gonna even do it, because what if I fail and it just is terrible? But if it’s perfect, no one would say anything.  Then you have to ask yourself, am I really worried about what people will think? Yes. But is it more so am I self-judging myself? And I think that’s the key thing that you, and by the way, this is how I was too and still am sometimes.  I have to remind myself and I correct it right way. Is you’re preventing other people from even checking out your work or your content or your thoughts or whatever, because you’re so worried about it being perfect.

 I will say the same thing about you is that naturally we’re intelligent people. Our parents are very intelligent, we’re very skilled, we’re educated, well traveled, well cultured. So our bare bones, crappy, half-ass version of anything is a lot better than most people’s literally spent 10 hours working on it.

I just think about my job at sales. Oh, I probably gotta be careful, hey guys, hey old bosses, um, presentations that other people spend weeks working on, I literally did the day before and didn’t even rehearse and I got better grades or better whatever results from it than someone that I know spent 50, 60 hours on it and I spent maybe three. 

That’s kind of sad for them. It’s amazing for me, but it kinda sucks for them. And you know, and I didn’t put in a lot of effort, I didn’t put in a lot of time and I could have done so much better if I would have put in that same amount of time, but I just didn’t.  That is something that I want to point out is like, there’s this fear about that, right? But I’m just being me.

Alejandro: Agreed

Fabian: So anyway, perfectionism, there’s a lot to be said there and we will keep hammering on it, but a lot of it stems from insecurity. But really it’s, you are judging yourself too harshly.  That’s really the theme that I wanted to get across based on your next things. 

The fact that you were comparing yourself, I mean, it’s a sad thing to say, but your worthiness of living at such a young age to, like, people in Africa who are starving. It’s like the fact is, yes, that’s the reality of the world, but they are irrelevant. They’re not on the same plane, you know? Like, the lines go different. Your life, or your worth, or your situation does not intersect with theirs.  That’s a hard thing to remember and realize, because I think a lot of people don’t view it that way, but that’s something that you need to always keep in mind.

But I cannot imagine even like having that thought as a kid and like, how do you go from there? I mean it, and again, that now creates it’s like, Hey, I am not good enough. I have these issues. And then you have your kindergarten teacher saying you got issues, you’re not good enough. And then you have our parents saying, Hey, you need to do well because things are hard and obviously every time we moved, they didn’t know how things were either. So, what was the one variable they knew? Do well in school. And the cool thing was that that actually was what worked back then you do well in school, things do work out better. 

So you kind of attach yourself to that and you kept going down that route of, Oh, I gotta be perfect, gotta be perfect, gotta be perfect. But the problem is, and this is something we’re going to have to talk about a lot, Alejandro, like it’s one of the issues that you need to conquer is this lack of self-worth and value, and being able to see your worth and value is  a game-changer because you shouldn’t be tying it to any one thing.

When I was more insecure and had this lack of, Oh, am I good? Am I enough? I was always like looking for other people’s validation or some validation from something. So for example, my job did I do well at my job, was I had top sales rep? Okay, then I’m good. But if I lost that or wasn’t that anymore, I’m like, Ooh, I’m not good enough anymore, like, am I worthy? Right? And that’s toxic because your worthiness is always going to be tied to something. It should only exclusively be tied to you. You know?

So that’s something that I want to really do a deep dive on  down the road, I think we need to look at that because that’s a, that’s a big piece, man. That’s big because, I mean, you’re telling me someone who got a, B and is worth less than than someone who got an A?

Alejandro: No, no. It shouldn’t be that way, no.

Fabian: You’re telling me someone who can serve three tables at the same time at the local Olive Garden is worth more in the world than someone who can serve two?

Alejandro: No. I mean, if you put it from that perspective, no. It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?

Fabian: That’s one of the key things that we’re here to talk about, man.  It’s hard to like, kind of have that realization. But I, I had that not even two years ago, going through these exact same thoughts. I’m like, Whoa, wait, what? It, it’s not ridiculous when you have come to that realization. Sometimes you need to hear it from another perspective. And that’s one of the things that I want to hammer home today is we really want to focus on self-reflection, but we really want to focus on you being able to view yourself from another perspective; I call it a third party. 

So for example, what I would always ask myself before is okay, if some person just met me and they saw me, would they be like, Oh, there’s no way he has that issue, or there’s no way he’s insecure about his looks, or there’s no way he’s insecure about this, or has this issue, or has this. Like this guy has it all, this guy is set. I mean, that’s also messed up on their part because they don’t know you, they’re assuming, and they’re judging you just from an initial impression, but it’s like, wait, what? I’m like, why, why is that a problem? 

Alejandro: I agree. Yes.

Fabian: So, Alejandro, I shared a lot and you can’t climb Mount Everest in one day and we can’t build Rome like that, but there was a lot that was just unraveled and pointed out.  One of the key things that I want to point out, not just to you, but really to the viewers and everyone listening is that this is how it’s done. You need to start self-reflecting and writing down things. And I’m going to be doing it with you as well, but, journaling and documenting and really just sharing a little bit of your own thoughts. But just for yourself, you don’t have to share it with other people, but, uh, spend five minutes, two minutes, three minutes, and just write down some of the things that resonated with you, things that didn’t, how you felt about this.

And then, this is the key, start writing down positive self-affirmations about yourself. Because one of the biggest things that I hear you talking about the unworthiness thing is you just haven’t  learned how to sell yourself, right?  If you had me sell you, if we didn’t say who I was selling and I was just talking about someone like, I want you guys to meet this person and his name is X and he’s this and this and this. I guarantee you, you would not think that’s you. And that happens with so many people and that is where you need to start writing positive self-affirmations. 

But basically the homework is start journaling and write one or two good things. The more than merrier, but at least one that you believe about yourself. And if you don’t believe them, things that you think you are or want to be, and just keep writing it down and we’ll go from there. 

So for example, I can say for a fact that both of us are extremely well-traveled and cultured, that’s one. Number two, we pick up on things and we’re very intelligent. We can analyze things and learn quite quickly. But you see, I’m just throwing out some stuff and these are the things that I want you to think about, but I just went on a long rant.

I want to hear you kind of debrief, cause we were kind of analyzing, right?  This is how the episodes are going to go. Where we, we talked through our stories, we analyze them and then we start talking about, you know, viewing it in a different perspective and kind of trying to see the lesson. So from there, then we can start working on the goals of improving and changing and et cetera, confidence. The first thing is really identifying it  and that’s what we did and now we were talking about it. 

So what are your kind of thoughts on everything that we just shared? Like, I mean, some of the there’s, there’s some, uh, you shared a lot that there was a lot that was talked about and I kinda want to hear your opinion on everything and we’ll go from there.

Alejandro: Yes. Thank you, Fab. Indeed. I’d say, as you said before, really the lesson from this  episode has been about the importance of self-reflection. We discussed the issues with perfectionism, the whole idea of self-worth and then positive affirmations here. 

Because really, the whole narrative that we build in our mind of our own identity, touching back to what we talked about at the very beginning. Obviously one hand we have this fake image. And then we have what is, in a certain way, now I think about it, a fake image that we have of ourselves. That we think we are in a certain way, but then maybe we come across our friends, our family  who can point out things that we’re blind to. Our positives, uh, aspect, because we’ve built up this false narrative in our mind that we are unworthy. We are, for example, a burden on other people. We are defective in some way, and we need to do something about it or otherwise people won’t, won’t love us, they won’t care about us, they don’t want to associate with us. And, uh, that really then goes back to the importance of, of self-reflecting because that was just from our discussion right now. 

I mean, these are a lot of things that I’ve thought about myself, I ve looked into, read, watched videos and whatnot. But  even with that, just  discussing it takes it to a completely different level. And  I know you’ve been a strong advocate for writing things down, journaling and  I haven’t really done much journaling myself, but  I’ve always found that I express myself much better in writing than speaking. So, I think this is, in a way, a natural outlet  for my thoughts. That rather than letting them fester in my mind, which they tend to do all the time, uh, to put them down on paper.

Fabian: I’m happy you say that, you know, it’s hard being vulnerable. It’s hard talking about these things. It’s hard sharing things that you might not be necessarily proud of, but when you realize that just from today, three things. 

One, this all started from us just talking about like, who are we? How did we get here, our story? And we haven’t even finished. We are 20% of the way through, and there’s so much more and there’s going to be a lot more to come, but that brought up these things. And the reason why it did that is because we are exploring the past. And normally you don’t want to live in the past. Normally we always want to move on. You don’t want to dwell. 

But this is  point number two, it’s exploring the past shows you that these incidents could be, literally the most random incident, can have severe impact. Especially if they’re, they happened when you were a kid. I mean, we have you, unfortunately, not being the healthiest kid because of many reasons. I mean, we can get into them, but  a lot of them out of your control. And now look at you, you’re healthy, you’re great. But at that time you had issues, but whatever, and it caused you to feel a certain way.  A teacher,  something else, right? Like all of these events compound, led to certain feelings and then it’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy because you’re like, well, other people don’t have this. I have it. 

And then, Oh, but now I also got this. Maybe my teacher was right. Or maybe this person was right. Maybe the kids were right . And then it happens again because now you’re also afraid of it. So now you’re like, hyper-focused on something and it just keeps going.

It’s one of the problems where, I am a strong believer in always moving on. And I don’t know. I’d be curious to hear if you think you are good at moving on, like, can you just move on from something that happens or do you feel like you are a notorious dweller?

Alejandro: Yes, Fabian. The other day I actually brought it up to someone how basically, unfortunately, I am a notorious dweller. I linger on these things. Basically, they  become like these experiences become like, um, Like scars engraved into my very soul.  Especially in my worst moments when I’m down. Then basically almost like as if it were a PowerPoint presentation and it just comes out and plays the greatest hits of all the worst things. One after another, and then the self pitty train goes forth.

And, uh, obviously it’s not always the case, but regrettably, yes, I have to acknowledge that I do tend to dwell on these things. And these thoughts then obviously affect any future decisions as a result. Because I will always have, will have them even, even, uh, in the best of moments in the back of my mind.  And they do regrettably dictate, to no small extent, my actions. I have to recognize that.

Fabian: Well, I think this is a perfect  ending point or transition to the ending point for this episode. Answering your response to the dwelling thing, I feel you because there’s definitely have been certain things in my life that I dwelled on for the longest time. But I feel like one of the things that really changed my mindset and perspective on it was looking back on our youth and how much we moved and travelled. And I know we’re only starting that piece of the story and there’s a lot more that goes into it. And all the countries we lived in and how many times we moved and how many times we have to restart from zero, but it let me move on. And because we had to do fresh starts and then I’ve moved for jobs and I’ve, when I moved from Mill Creek to  downtown Seattle and lived by myself, it was a fresh start and you can rebrand yourself. It’s like, people don’t know you and when they don’t know your past and you only tell them who you are today, you’re not lying. And like you, the true you. But today that’s not burdened by that past, all the sudden you realize that people adore you and love you for that. And it’s easy to forgive yourself and move on. 

And then the second part of it is changing how you view these things. I mean, it’s hard, there’s these things are major. Like some of those things are big issues, and again, I commend you and respect you so much for opening up, especially on this show.

Like that’s hard, man. There’s some deep stuff, but it’s powerful and I think you should seriously pat yourself on the back for that. Most people could not do what you just did. That’s already a huge win, but if you’re going to talk about worth that, that’s something that’s super worthy right there, by the way, that’s strength of character.

But, it’s viewing these, let’s just call them how we view them, failures. Like they, we didn’t do what we thought we could do, or it didn’t go the way we wanted it to go, or the way we knew it could go. So we’re harsh on ourselves, but instead of viewing it as just a failure, what if you changed your way of viewing failure and you viewed it as a lesson?

So for example, that job didn’t work out, that project failed, this episode doesn’t get the views and ratings and reviews that we wanted to.  That wasn’t a failure, it was an experiment. We learned from it, it taught us something like, what are we going to learn? Oh, Hey, we need to work on some technical issues,  we need to work on the lighting, we need to work on the audio, we need to work on the content, we need to whatever, right? And that is kind of how I want you to start viewing it. And you can’t just rewire yourself right away, but hearing it constantly from the right people is going to help so much. It’s like all those things that you told me about, view those as like, what did I learn from that?

 It’s really just, it’s changing your view on failure. Learning from those mistakes, because you grow from them. I mean, a lot of this came from my experience in sales, but you get rejected so much, you know, like well that didn’t work the client got really mad when I did that. What am I going to do differently?

Well, I’m not going to do that again. So I learned, and then you apply it and you try it again and you try again and you try again and you try again. And all of a sudden you figure it out and then you perfect it, essentially. But there’s always room to grow.  Once you start viewing those things as a lesson, it changes things. And it’s hard because sometimes you’ve invested so much time into something. Like, literally, and we’ll get into more in another episode, but there’s things that I’ve spent years on and then it’s like, Oh yeah, that was just a complete and utter failure. But I learned a lot from those two years or three years of doing something. Once you start viewing it that way, that’s when I want to hear your thoughts. So curious what you think about that. And then we’ll conclude 

Alejandro: I think that is a lesson that’s been a  long time coming for me. It certainly has been something that has been brought up in my past. I remember some teachers certainly mentioned it to me. I was always very hesitant to accept. For me, failure was always, uh, one of the worst outcomes and to restructure  that mindset is obviously going to take a lot of time and effort.

But I think like you said, it is a valuable approach to take to it, to see it as a lesson to be learned from. And if you can see it from that perspective, um, then that means that you’re essentially free to do things, to try things. You’re not going to be held back by that concern of what if you fail. What if it doesn’t work out?  If you try, you know  that you can at least have made an effort to do it and maybe it’ll work out. Maybe it won’t work out, but you won’t really find out  unless you make the effort to see.

Fabian: Well, that’s perfectly said, brother. This has been a great first experiment.  

That transitions us for our next episode to talk about if you try, what’s the worst that can happen. And that’s something that we’re going to talk about.  What is the worst that can happen if you try? And we’ll be able to discuss that a lot more. And we will hear more about  our story, your story, my story and kind of like those events and what happened. 

And really, we just want to focus on and highlight that this is all what this is going to be. It’s just vulnerable, real talk. Like just sharing, really what we’ve gone through and the experiences that have hardened us and made us who we are today.  There’s a lot of good, but there was a lot of dark, dangerous situations that happened, but it made us stronger. And that’s the takeaway for today. 

And that’s really what this whole Chaminger Xperience is about. It’s Becoming Xceptional, becoming more successful, becoming happier. And with that, make sure you like, make sure you subscribe. Leave a comment, tell us what you thought. What are your opinions on Alejandro’s story? Was he too real for you? Was it uncomfortable or did it motivate you and inspire you to share your piece?

We would love to hear that and join us on our live streams, where it’s an open forum to discuss more of these thoughts and ideas. Stay amazing. And see you next time.