Hola my Chamingeritos! My 3 Cents Episode #6: Power of Perspective Part 2 released today marking the 14th episode of our podcast, in addition to us celebrating 1 month of being launched.
We will be doing a deep dive on what we discussed on our 1 month celebration stream including topics such as: What it actually takes to make a podcast a lifestyle and job vs just a hobby; a new podcast series; a release schedule change; company updates and a new product announcement! Check the STREAM recording HERE!
Make sure to listen and read the transcript to this very special episode of My 3 Cents. Today we continue our discussion on the power of perspective and how to use it to take back control of your emotions when responding to any unfavorable situation. You are in fact way better than you think.
Listen to My 3 Cents Episode #6 released today!
And read along – the transcript:
Fabian: Hello everybody. How are we today? My name is Fabian Chagoya.
Stephani: And my name is Stephani Furminger and you are listening to Chaminger: Becoming Xceptional.
Fabian: And this is My 3 Cents about the power of perspective.
Welcome back to My 3 Cents by Chaminger. Thank you for joining us as we continue our previous discussion on a journey to Becoming Xceptional, since this is a multi-part episode. If you have not watched the previous segment, we highly recommend it for context, but feel free to continue and experience the valuable message delivered in this episode, regardless.
We appreciate you. We hope you enjoy listening to our 3 Cents.
Another thing that I think about when talking about how other people view you is, when you start realizing a lot of people view you on a much higher level than you view yourself. That’s one of the key takeaways that I want people to have from this episode is you are significantly better than you think. Every single person out there is a lot better than they think.
Stephani: And I’m just going to say something about that. I’ve been hearing you say it a lot in the Real Talk series, and it really is such a valuable thing to do for yourself. Start writing positive self-affirmations and reflect on that, because if you are going back and thinking about the things that you are really good at or things that people have told you that you’re really good at. You may not have thought, Oh, I’m really good at folding clothes, but then a couple of people have complimented me on it.
So, I mean, I guess I am really good at that and that is a strength of mine. I don’t know where that’s going to come in handy. You know, maybe I’m the quickest in the world. And then I’m going to be in the Guinness Book of World Records or something.
Fabian: And then we can retire.
Stephani: Exactly. But, you know, even if it’s just something little or it seems like something that’s insignificant because once you are, once you write that down. And then you start thinking about all the other things, and then you are continually adding to your list. Like, let’s just say you have a notebook and you’re just, as someone says something, you’re like, Oh, I never thought about that before. I’m really good at walking on my tiptoes. So I wonder if that means I would be good at walking in heels. Maybe I should try that.
You know, you keep writing those things down and then maybe three months down the road, you are, maybe a couple times a week, you’re going back to that list and just writing those things down. And now all of a sudden you have, let’s just say a page and a half of things that you are good at or things that stood out to other people or yourself that are great about you. And it’s like, Oh wow, I’m better than I thought I was. That is such a confidence booster, because they’re not necessarily things that you ever would have known about yourself or thought about yourself, but they’re things that you noticed or other people noticed. And I think that can be a really valuable thing in viewing your yourself in a different perspective.
Fabian: Thank you for bringing that up because that is something I would have definitely forgot to mention and it’s true. I mean, obviously we talk about it in Real Talk as well, because it’s a journey where I have harsh conversations with my brother. We discuss kind of like our journey growing up of having lived in so many different countries and having to start over and getting to know yourself is really the key. Like self-reflecting to that point and everything you said was people just don’t know themselves and their strengths versus their weaknesses. And too many people put this false value on one skill set over another. There are a few skill sets that you can say, bring you more money or bring you more success in dating or party hosting.
But at the end of the day, for example, like you said, like you’re just to go back to yours, like folding clothes. Like what if that skill you actually did apply it to get a world record? I mean,
Stephani: Or like, let’s say you’re traveling and you have to pack very efficiently. Like you, you want to, um, go on a three-week trip, but you only have one suitcase and you don’t know what the weather is going to be like. So you have to kind of pack for all scenarios. Or a couple of different scenarios. So it’s not like you’re just going to the beach and you’re only packing bathing suits. So you may need to have some bulkier things. You need to pack different types of shoes because you’re going to be walking a lot, or you’re going to be at the beach, all these different scenarios that folding might come and in handy in that scenario.
Fabian: This is a true story guys. Well, Stephani, I think that’s such an incredible example because it really reminds me that so many people compare themselves to someone else. To see like, Oh, well I don’t have any strengths. I just have weaknesses. But you know, the secret is, once you start being able to see yourself differently and view things differently, you start putting yourself in situations where your strengths can shine. And your weaknesses are kind of avoided. You avoid the things that you’re not good at. But that’s where, I mean, one of the key things about this journey that we’re constantly going back to is getting that self-awareness to getting to know yourself.
Self-reflecting to get that because once you know yourself, you’re in control. So what do I mean by that? I will never, ever put myself in a situation where I have to draw or do something artistic to survive. I am probably one of the worst artists in the world. Like literally stick figures is stressful for me. I, whenever people tried to play Pinterest or those like Pictionary, sorry. Not Pinterest. What up Pinterest. Pictionary with me, I dreaded it. I hated it, because I struggled. I would always like, try to write the words with the drawings or something like that. People are like, you can’t do that. I’m like, well, why not? I’m like, how about we just talk and like, can we just act it out? Can we talk it out? People like that harder. I’m like, no that’s joke mode.
And it goes to show you, people are like, Oh, well you’re 29. And you were at this level, you have this, you’ve accomplished this. I’m like, yeah, but you make me, put me in that situation, I could not do anything. Literally. And I mean, I’ve gotten better at it because I’ve had to, but I’ve never historically been the best at like baseball, football, but 99% of American men and especially sales guys, that’s all they can do. You know, that was what they grew up with and they’re good at it. And I admire them for it because it’s a skillset that I just never had. I also grew up differently. So why would I? But you know what I mean? Like if we’re talking about apples and comparisons. Apples to apples in comparison. I could not hold a candle to them.
So if we’re talking, if we were only talking baseball and football, I would be like bottom of the barrel compared to these guys. But I’m not a bottom of the barrel guy.
Stephani: You’d be sitting on the bench.
Fabian: Exactly. So the fact is I can admit that. I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses and I put myself in situations to succeed. And that’s obviously getting to know yourself, self-awareness but it’s starting to view yourself differently. I don’t view those weaknesses as problems. I’m just like, okay.
Stephani: I just won’t put myself in that situation.
Fabian: Exactly. And once you’re able to do that. View these weaknesses as things that you’re like, okay. Maybe those are things that I pay someone to do for me, or I outsource. It completely changes the game. But, I think now it’s time to go into the story because we definitely got sidetracked.
Stephani: I’m anticipating this story.
Fabian: So let’s, I want to talk about two general things and then I want to get into a specific one. So I first want to start, and this is all goes down to changing how you view a failure.
And number one, I want to talk about, and two combined, is friendships and relationships. So not going to name any names, not going to get any specifics. But I just think, like, for example, some of my early friendships, having moved so much and lost people, you know, I have to get good at befriending people.
And even now as an adult, I’m just used to moving on. Like, I don’t dwell. Other people get all sad and cry if someone doesn’t text them back. I’m like next, next, next. It’s someone I really care about and someone that means a lot to me, and they’ve shown that back to me, I’ll put in the effort. But you know, before didn’t know that you have to put in the time and the effort and the same thing goes to like with a relationship. And it’s why I, in the past, no one understood why I wasn’t obsessed with like, trying to go after a relationship. And it’s because I knew how much time it took after having failed at one. Like literally, I just, I got into one and I you know, I was the gamer. And I’m just like, yeah, I still want to game. I’m like, I’ll just see you once or twice a week and all these things. And all of a sudden, they’re getting mad at me and I’m like, Ooh, uh, I probably need to be spending more time, huh? But to be fair, I also didn’t really enjoy the conversation with them. And we, it wasn’t like true compatibility, but you got to get to know that, right?
You learn that. I’m like, Oh, okay, so I don’t want someone that treats me like that. I don’t want someone that only cares about this. I don’t want someone that’s like this, or I don’t want friends that do this. I, you start learning. Too many people are like, Oh my God, I failed this relationship. It’s over. Well, what did you learn from that? Oh, next time I’m going to do this. I failed this friendship. What did I learn from that? Oh, I need to text them once a week. I need to call them once a month. I need to hang out with them once every, whatever. That’s the general advice for that piece.
So let’s get into the real story now. And this is a very recent story and it comes down to sales. And it was at my medical software sales job. So we’re talking business to business sales, selling to an extremely large surgery group. And this contract, selling a service that basically completely takes a percentage of their business. So if you guys aren’t familiar with the healthcare industry, essentially a medical practice has a billing department. And a billing department handles insurance collection, payments, making sure that the patients who come are actually paying, basically it’s the cashflow for a medical practice. Which is very important because without that doctors aren’t getting paid, staff isn’t getting paid, business is going to close. So an absolutely critical function.
The service that we were selling was basically covering all of that, which is a huge deal. Especially the larger an entity is, the larger corporation is, the more impact and money they’re making. So they’re going to be even more tight about, the reason why they became big, the reason why they grew, is because they knew how to make money. They knew where the money is and they knew how to collect it. So if you’re trying to convince someone to give you, you know, probably about a third of their business to outsource a third of their business, maybe even more, that’s a big deal.
It’s like, if right now we said, Hey, we’re going to outsource two of our episodes to someone else. That’s a big deal.
Fabian: You know, like obviously it’s, it’s not exactly the same, but just to kind of paint the picture for people that might not understand the healthcare example. So this was a contract, like no other, it literally this one sales deal would have made my entire year and more. I would have made more money than I’ve ever made in one second, if that contract got signed. But it also meant that the people that I was working with, the people I was selling to were at a much higher level. Their knowledge was significantly higher. So what does that mean?
I thought I was ready when I first started approaching them and talking to them. It was kind of like that, but I had to grow, I had to learn so much, because the questions they ask, the things that they expected, the things that they wanted, the traps that they put in place. Because yes, customers at that level, put traps to see if you fall for them and then they won’t buy from you if you fall for it.
Like it’s a game of chess. And from my very first meeting to my last, let’s say it was over like a four or five month period. I grew probably 100% and I was already a top salesman. I made president’s club at this company. Like I had sold it all. And then you try to sell to these guys. Obviously you always hope for the CEO or the doctors that don’t know business and they’re easy prey, but this business was.
My skillset increased so much, but I didn’t get the sale. And obviously you’re going to be down about that, because literally that’s a life-changing moment.
Stephani: Well, before, uh, I know that you said that you didn’t get the sale. But while you were going through that process of trying to sell this group, were you, um, cause I know that there were negotiations and some, a lot of back and forth. How was your mindset during that period of time?
Fabian: During that entire time, I was 100% confident that they would buy from me. There was zero doubt in my mind.
Stephani: So when they didn’t end up buying from you, did that crush you even more? Did that bring you down extra because you were so confident or do you think that regardless you would have felt that same way?
Fabian: It definitely did for a little bit. I mean, obviously then started applying these, all this. The thoughts and process of like the Chaminger brand to overcome that barrier.
Stephani: And just so everyone knows, just because, we both are trying to live this, these daily and just these key things, doesn’t mean that you can’t have a minute of weakness or a moment. Because we’re human it’s it’s gonna happen. That’s just how we are. But then, you know, you have your moment and then just take a step back and reflect and change your mindset. View it in a different perspective and find the lesson. Anyway, continue. I just wanted to throw that out there.
Fabian: I love that and thank you for that.
Fabian: It was rough, especially because I could have done things better. Always. But according to the client, the main reasons why they didn’t do it, they could have lied to me. It’s certainly possible, but I don’t believe so because that was not the relationship we’d established. The reasons were things outside of what I handled. There were things that were related to my company’s quality control, um, et cetera. I’m not going to get into, I’m not here to sling dirt, but it was things that I had zero control over. And it was things that were more related to like the marketing and executive decisions from the leadership. So I lost a life-changing moment because of things that were mostly outside of my control.
Yes, I might’ve been able to do a little better here and a little better here and I might’ve convinced them. But I didn’t also want to lie to them. Right. So like that’s such a critical piece that I want to mention is like, integrity and being honest. Right? Like that was key. So if they said, Hey, I heard this problem. Well, I’m like, you’re right. And it didn’t pay off. And what do you do? What do you do at that point? Well, that, like you said, that moment of weakness hits you. You’re like, Oh my goodness. Maybe I’m not good enough. But then you start thinking, you’re like oh wait a second.
Stephani: How was I even able to continue to be having this conversation with this group for this long? If I wasn’t good enough. I don’t know if that’s what you were going to say, but that’s where my mind went.
Fabian: Exactly. 100%. And I know that 9 out of 10 people would be killing themselves over it. And it’s over and they’re just going to be dwelling on it and all this stuff. It’s like, you gotta move on, but you also got to realize the lessons from there. You’re like, what did I learn? Cause you know what, I remember the next time I spoke to a small business and talked about this, I’m like, Oh my goodness, like they’re almost ready to make a decision. And we’ve only talked once and I’ve just had so much more knowledge. I can tell them everything. It’s like, Whoa, I remembered like eight months ago, I couldn’t do that. And now look at me.
Again, it’s something that we keep talking about, but being able to look back at yourself, every so often, like do a check-in a month from now, two months from now, three months from now, four months from now. Where were we back then? And where are we now?
Stephani: The power of perspective, people.
Fabian: The power perspective and the final takeaway from that story is the second part of how to view failure as a lesson is the key to controlling your emotions, your happiness. To almost everything is, how do you respond to an incident? It’s probably the hardest thing to do.
And I tend to have to usually take a step back and have some alone thinking time. But that’s just because I’m, I’m a person who’s very analytical. And then after that, I’m good. But most people don’t know how to respond to things and they overreact. When you actually can control how you respond to it and then view it, change your view on it and learn the lesson from it and then make a decision. That’s powerful. That puts you on a completely different playing field than most people.
And I, I’m going to constantly reference that, but how you respond to things is key. So if someone says something that you’re not prepared to hear, or you don’t like, what are you going to do? Are you going to run away? Are you going to make a fuss or are you going to listen and be like, okay, how can we talk about this? And I could go on, but it really is again, changing your view and it’s going to keep going back to it. Once you have control over that, you are literally in the driver’s seat. I think too many people always remain in the passenger seat and not even the passenger seat, they are actually in the back seat and they’re letting other people drive them around and control their emotions and all these stuff. And it’s just very frustrating to see because so many people live significantly worse lives, just because of that.
Stephani: You gotta take control of that wheel, because it is your life. And why are you allowing other people to control that, any part of your life, but just control the wheel in any way, shape or form. There’s no reason for that.
Fabian: I really liked that. I really, really like that analogy or that.
Stephani: You came up with the analogy.
Fabian: It’s something that, it’s crazy to think about. How the moment we put too much emphasis on, you know, what other people think or on the negatives or what went wrong or what could have been, we stop living in the moment or we just limit ourselves. And I’m going to share a quick example because really the takeaways have been very present and very evident.
But it reminds me of my journey of getting to my medical software sales job here in Colorado. Where I turned down over 20 jobs. But I also failed to get about like eight or nine, very high tier, elite sales jobs. And that gets to you, especially when you already had done six to seven interviews and you’re on your eighth and you’re interviewing with the president or the CEO. And for some reason they just, I don’t like Mexicans that happened by the way.
Fabian: It actually still kind of bothers me. And
Stephani: Well, you wouldn’t have wanted to work for that company anyway.
Fabian: Power of perspective!
Stephani: Yes. But I could, I definitely understand how that could be frustrating because you could have been perfect for that job. Or let’s just say the president of that company wasn’t available that day and someone else had to perform the interview and that person love, loves Mexicans, or just loved your, your interview. And you may have gotten the job, but then, you know, you have to work closely with the president, let’s say, and then it just falls apart. You’re not happy and you end up hating the job because you just wouldn’t have gotten along with that person.
Fabian: It just makes you realize that you can do everything right. And some people are just not going to like you, you know? Like I know that certain things, especially since I embrace the Mexican culture, I mean, I that’s part of my like opening line, right? Like, who are you? Tell me more about yourself. And I’m like half Mexican, half German and I love all this stuff.
And you know this and they’re like, You have too much energy or you it’s like, well, what are you going to do? You know? Like, do you change yourself for that? No. Cause like you said, if you do, you might get the job, you might be okay for awhile, but you’re going to end up resenting it and you’re not going to be, you’re not going to be happy down the road. And then we’re right back at stage zero, where-
Stephani: you’re doing more interviews.
Fabian: Yup. But the takeaway for the interviews, thank you for bringing me back to that. Was just, every time you failed an interview that you, or you didn’t get the job, I guess I should say. You could have had an amazing interview. You didn’t get the job. One of the things that I started asking a lot of them afterwards was like, well, what could I have done differently? Like what, one of the questions I even started asking in interviews to these sales managers or CEOs like that was like, well, what would be your ideal employee? If I work for you, what are the things that I could do to make you, your job easier? You start asking, then you start hearing things like, Oh, well, when I tell you to submit something by Friday, could you please submit it by Friday? Because then I have to defend you to the VP and I get chewed out and it’s not fun to get chewed out. I’m like, Oh yeah. You know, you start hearing some stuff like that.
Stephani: If we ask you to do a training by Friday, make sure that you do it by the Monday before, because it’s a competition between the whole company to make sure that the whole team.
Stephani: Does the training before it’s actually due.
Fabian: Yup. You shouldn’t be selling, guys. You shouldn’t be selling, you gotta be focusing on the training.
Fabian: But, it’s just, it’s changing your view on these interviews. Like you didn’t get the job. What did you learn? Now you have better practice. You have, you can refine your story. You can refine your resume. Oh, everyone is commenting about that part. Keep that in. Oh, someone liked that part. Keep that in. You know, you start seeing what works and what doesn’t and it’s the same thing, like, I mean, that’s sales 101. It’s like, Hey, you email the client, they didn’t respond. Okay, change the email. You emailed this time, oh, you got 10 responses, keep doing that. Now try to improve it even more. You had a PowerPoint presentation, no one responded to it, try without. You know, like so forth and so forth.
Like there’s so many different things that you can do, but it’s always learning from it and changing your viewpoint on it. Didn’t work out? What good came from it. View yourself from their point of view. Oh, this random sales guy came in and did this and he annoyed me. Well, how would I feel if some guy did that to me? The same reason why I tell people, Hey, don’t just call me randomly, cause I’m not going to pick up. That’s annoying because I’m spending time with you, I’m working on the podcast and doing stuff like that. Text me, email me, ask me if I’m available. If I am, I will call you or you can call me, I’ll say absolutely. And it’s just being able to view yourself outside your body and understand how other people feel. Power of empathy, I guess. I don’t know. But
Stephani: Yeah, I mean, that is a hard one though, too, because obviously everyone is different. So you know, that one person didn’t like Mexicans, but I mean, that’s another issue, but it’s just like some people, they may not love the, they may not like the energy that you bring. It’s, it’s too much for them, but that doesn’t mean that you should be changing that. Maybe you are like, okay, well maybe I should tone it down a little bit or no, I that’s who I am. That’s that’s how I want to perceive myself. And they don’t, if they don’t like it, then next. So it just depends on the scenario. Depends on the situation, but definitely take a moment to reflect, look at that, reflect on it. Is that something that I value? Is that something that is important to me? Yes. So I’m going to keep that or, I mean, I guess I could change that a little bit. It it’s not necessary or whatever the situation may be. But the point of the story is that changing your perspective on something doesn’t just have to be, um, how you view yourself personally. It could also relate to professionalism as well. And I liked that you brought that in too.
Fabian: Yeah, well, it’s something that we’re definitely going to touch upon in other episodes, but I think it’s important that people realize that, um, once you can start changing your perspective, you can start changing things. You can start becoming more self-aware, because all of a sudden everything changes. You started realizing what really matters, what really doesn’t, who you like spending time with you, who you don’t.
Once you can take a step back and almost think critically and pause, and how do I respond to this, you know? How did this make me feel? I’m like, am I really enjoying myself right now? Like it’s just really being able to take that step back. It opens up so many doors, it’s an unlock to so much, and it really is the first key to Becoming Xceptional.
Fabian: And just remember guys, #StayAmazing as well.
Fabian: You are better than you think. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And if you don’t think you’re amazing, that’s exactly why you need to go on this journey, because something or someone made you think that, and it’s changeable, it’s learnable.
And that’s why Chaminger is here, never fear.
Stephani: To help, to help back you up and realize how good you actually are and give you the tools to help you realize how good you are.
Fabian: I love it. So I would say that is My 3 Cents on the power perspective. Do you want to conclude the episode first?
Stephani: Yes. Well, of course, as always, we appreciate everyone tuning into this episode of My 3 Cents. Um, be sure to check out our other series as well, if you haven’t already. We have Real Talk, Social Wisdom, and we also have a couple of live streams, so make sure to check out everything Chaminger. And we are still growing, so please share our message with anyone and everyone, but especially with anyone that you think may resonate with our message. Because it really is, can apply to pretty much anyone. It doesn’t matter their age, their demographic, where they’re from, um, what kind of clothes they wear. It can literally apply to everyone in some way, shape, or form. So just please continue to share our message. Subscribe to our podcast. And if you like what we’re saying, and you have the means, please feel free to donate because we want to continue to grow and that link will be in the description for this episode.
Fabian: Perfectly said, and guys, remember if you’re feeling shy or you’re hesitating to join the community and be public about it, we appreciate and read all emails and all private messages on all our social medias. So, hit us up. Uh, ask a question, share a story. And if you want to write an email anonymously, we love that as well. We are here to help you. We are here to grow together. Change your view on it. It’s not you being a failure or not being good enough. It’s you taking the first step to Becoming Xceptional? Be you.
Stephani: Be free.
Fabian: Stay amazing.
Stephani: Chaminger out.
Fabian: See you guys next time on My 3 Cents.