My 3 Cents

A weekly audio & video podcast show teaching others how to Become Xceptional through the power of relatable stories.

May 24, 2021

My 3 Cents Episode #6 released! And 1 month livestream!

Hola my Chamingeritos! My 3 Cents Episode #6: Power of Perspective Part 2 released today marking the 14th episode of our podcast, in addition to us celebrating 1 month of being launched.

We will be doing a deep dive on what we discussed on our 1 month celebration stream including topics such as: What it actually takes to make a podcast a lifestyle and job vs just a hobby; a new podcast series; a release schedule change; company updates and a new product announcement! Check the STREAM recording HERE!

Make sure to listen and read the transcript to this very special episode of My 3 Cents. Today we continue our discussion on the power of perspective and how to use it to take back control of your emotions when responding to any unfavorable situation. You are in fact way better than you think.


Listen to My 3 Cents Episode #6 released today!

My 3 Cents Episode #6: Power of Perspective Part 2
My 3 Cents Episode #6: Power of Perspective Part 2
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And read along – the transcript:

Fabian: Hello everybody. How are we today? My name is Fabian Chagoya. 

Stephani: And my name is Stephani Furminger and you are listening to Chaminger: Becoming Xceptional. 

Fabian: And this is My 3 Cents about the power of perspective.

Welcome back to My 3 Cents by Chaminger. Thank you for joining us as we continue our previous discussion on a journey to Becoming Xceptional, since this is a multi-part episode. If you have not watched the previous segment, we highly recommend it for context, but feel free to continue and experience the valuable message delivered in this episode, regardless.

We appreciate you. We hope you enjoy listening to our 3 Cents.

Another thing that I think about when talking about how other people view you is, when you start realizing a lot of people view you on a much higher level than you view yourself. That’s one of the key takeaways that I want people to have from this episode is you are significantly better than you think. Every single person out there is a lot better than they think.

Stephani: And I’m just going to say something about that.  I’ve been hearing you say it a lot in the Real Talk series, and it really is such a valuable thing to do for yourself. Start writing positive self-affirmations and reflect on that, because if you are going back and thinking about the things that you are really good at or things that people have told you that you’re really good at. You may not have thought, Oh, I’m really good at folding clothes, but then a couple of people have complimented me on it.

So, I mean, I guess I am really good at that and that is a strength of mine. I don’t know where that’s going to come in handy. You know, maybe I’m the quickest in the world. And then I’m going to be in the Guinness Book of World Records or something. 

Fabian: And then we can retire. 

Stephani: Exactly. But, you know, even if it’s just something little or it seems like something that’s insignificant because once you are, once you write that down. And then you start thinking about all the other things, and then you are continually adding to your list. Like, let’s just say you have a notebook and you’re just, as someone says something, you’re like, Oh, I never thought about that before. I’m really good at walking on my tiptoes. So I wonder if that means I would be good at walking in heels. Maybe I should try that. 

You know, you keep writing those things down and then maybe three months down the road, you are, maybe a couple times a week, you’re going back to that list and just writing those things down. And now all of a sudden you have, let’s just say a page and a half of things that you are good at or things that stood out to other people or yourself that are great about you. And it’s like, Oh wow, I’m better than I thought I was. That is such a confidence booster, because they’re not necessarily things that you ever would have known about yourself or thought about yourself, but they’re things that you noticed or other people noticed. And I think that can be a really valuable thing in viewing your yourself in a different perspective. 

Fabian: Thank you for bringing that up because that is something I would have definitely forgot to mention and it’s true. I mean, obviously we talk about it in Real Talk as well, because it’s a journey where I have harsh conversations with my brother. We discuss kind of like our journey growing up of having lived in so many different countries and having to start over and getting to know yourself is really the key. Like self-reflecting to that point and everything you said was people just don’t know themselves and their strengths versus their weaknesses. And too many people put this false value on one skill set over another. There are a few skill sets that you can say, bring you more money or bring you more success in dating or party hosting.

But at the end of the day, for example, like you said, like you’re just to go back to yours, like folding clothes. Like what if that skill you actually did apply it to get a world record? I mean, 

Stephani: Or like, let’s say you’re traveling and you have to pack very efficiently. Like you, you want to, um, go on a three-week trip, but you only have one suitcase and you don’t know what the weather is going to be like. So you have to kind of pack for all scenarios. Or a couple of different scenarios. So it’s not like you’re just going to the beach and you’re only packing bathing suits. So you may need to have some bulkier things. You need to pack different types of shoes because you’re going to be walking a lot, or you’re going to be at the beach, all these different scenarios that folding might come and in handy in that scenario.

Fabian: This is a true story guys. Well, Stephani, I think that’s such an incredible example because it really reminds me that so many people compare themselves to someone else. To see like, Oh, well I don’t have any strengths. I just have weaknesses. But you know, the secret is, once you start being able to see yourself differently and view things differently, you start putting yourself in situations where your strengths can shine. And your weaknesses are kind of avoided. You avoid the things that you’re not good at. But that’s where, I mean, one of the key things about this journey that we’re constantly going back to is getting that self-awareness to getting to know yourself. 

Self-reflecting to get that because once you know yourself, you’re in control. So what do I mean by that? I will never, ever put myself in a situation where I have to draw or do something artistic to survive. I am probably one of the worst artists in the world. Like literally stick figures is stressful for me. I, whenever people tried to play Pinterest or those like Pictionary, sorry. Not Pinterest. What up Pinterest. Pictionary with me, I dreaded it. I hated it, because I struggled. I would always like, try to write the words with the drawings or something like that. People are like, you can’t do that. I’m like, well, why not? I’m like, how about we just talk and like, can we just act it out? Can we talk it out? People like that harder. I’m like, no that’s joke mode.

And it goes to show you, people are like, Oh, well you’re 29. And you were at this level, you have this, you’ve accomplished this. I’m like, yeah, but you make me, put me in that situation, I could not do anything. Literally. And I mean, I’ve gotten better at it because I’ve had to, but I’ve never historically been the best at like baseball, football, but 99% of American men and especially sales guys, that’s all they can do. You know, that was what they grew up with and they’re good at it. And I admire them for it because it’s a skillset that I just never had. I also grew up differently. So why would I? But you know what I mean? Like if we’re talking about apples and comparisons. Apples to apples in comparison. I could not hold a candle to them.

So if we’re talking, if we were only talking baseball and football, I would be like bottom of the barrel compared to these guys. But I’m not a bottom of the barrel guy. 

Stephani: You’d be sitting on the bench. 

Fabian: Exactly. So the fact is I can admit that. I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses and I put myself in situations to succeed. And that’s obviously getting to know yourself, self-awareness but it’s starting to view yourself differently. I don’t view those weaknesses as problems. I’m just like, okay. 

Stephani: I just won’t put myself in that situation. 

Fabian: Exactly. And once you’re able to do that. View these weaknesses as things that you’re like, okay. Maybe those are things that I pay someone to do for me, or I outsource. It completely changes the game. But, I think now it’s time to go into the story because we definitely got sidetracked. 

Stephani: I’m anticipating this story. 

Fabian: So let’s, I want to talk about two general things and then I want to get into a specific one. So I first want to start, and this is all goes down to changing how you view a failure.

And number one, I want to talk about, and two combined, is friendships and relationships. So not going to name any names, not going to get any specifics. But I just think, like, for example, some of my early friendships, having moved so much and lost people, you know, I have to get good at befriending people.

And even now as an adult, I’m just used to moving on. Like, I don’t dwell. Other people get all sad and cry if someone doesn’t text them back. I’m like next, next, next. It’s someone I really care about and someone that means a lot to me, and they’ve shown that back to me, I’ll put in the effort. But you know, before didn’t know that you have to put in the time and the effort and the same thing goes to like with a relationship. And it’s why I, in the past, no one understood why I wasn’t obsessed with like, trying to go after a relationship. And it’s because I knew how much time it took after having failed at one. Like literally, I just, I got into one and I you know, I was the gamer. And I’m just like, yeah, I still want to game. I’m like, I’ll just see you once or twice a week and all these things. And all of a sudden, they’re getting mad at me and I’m like, Ooh, uh, I probably need to be spending more time, huh? But to be fair, I also didn’t really enjoy the conversation with them. And we, it wasn’t like true compatibility, but you got to get to know that, right? 

You learn that. I’m like, Oh, okay, so I don’t want someone that treats me like that. I don’t want someone that only cares about this. I don’t want someone that’s like this, or I don’t want friends that do this. I, you start learning. Too many people are like, Oh my God, I failed this relationship. It’s over. Well, what did you learn from that? Oh, next time I’m going to do this. I failed this friendship. What did I learn from that? Oh, I need to text them once a week. I need to call them once a month. I need to hang out with them once every, whatever. That’s the general advice for that piece. 

So let’s get into the real story now. And this is a very recent story and it comes down to sales. And it was at my medical software sales job. So we’re talking business to business sales, selling to an extremely large surgery group. And this contract, selling a service that basically completely takes a percentage of their business. So if you guys aren’t familiar with the healthcare industry, essentially a medical practice has a billing department. And a billing department handles insurance collection, payments, making sure that the patients who come are actually paying, basically it’s the cashflow for a medical practice. Which is very important because without that doctors aren’t getting paid, staff isn’t getting paid, business is going to close. So an absolutely critical function. 

The service that we were selling was basically covering all of that, which is a huge deal. Especially the larger an entity is, the larger corporation is, the more impact and money they’re making. So they’re going to be even more tight about, the reason why they became big, the reason why they grew, is because they knew how to make money. They knew where the money is and they knew how to collect it. So if you’re trying to convince someone to give you, you know, probably about a third of their business to outsource a third of their business, maybe even more, that’s a big deal.

It’s like, if right now we said, Hey, we’re going to outsource two of our episodes to someone else. That’s a big deal. 

Stephani: Yeah. 

Fabian: You know, like obviously it’s, it’s not exactly the same, but just to kind of paint the picture for people that might not understand the healthcare example. So this was a contract, like no other, it literally this one sales deal would have made my entire year and more. I would have made more money than I’ve ever made in one second, if that contract got signed. But it also meant that the people that I was working with, the people I was selling to were at a much higher level. Their knowledge was significantly higher. So what does that mean? 

I thought I was ready when I first started approaching them and talking to them. It was kind of like that, but I had to grow, I had to learn so much, because the questions they ask, the things that they expected, the things that they wanted, the traps that they put in place. Because yes, customers at that level, put traps to see if you fall for them and then they won’t buy from you if you fall for it.

Like it’s a game of chess. And from my very first meeting to my last, let’s say it was over like a four or five month period. I grew probably 100% and I was already a top salesman. I made president’s club at this company. Like I had sold it all. And then you try to sell to these guys. Obviously you always hope for the CEO or the doctors that don’t know business and they’re easy prey, but this business was. 

My skillset increased so much, but I didn’t get the sale. And obviously you’re going to be down about that, because literally that’s a life-changing moment. 

Stephani: Well, before, uh, I know that you said that you didn’t get the sale. But while you were going through that process of trying to sell this group, were you, um, cause I know that there were negotiations and some, a lot of back and forth. How was your mindset during that period of time? 

Fabian: During that entire time, I was 100% confident that they would buy from me. There was zero doubt in my mind. 

Stephani: So when they didn’t end up buying from you, did that crush you even more? Did that bring you down extra because you were so confident or do you think that regardless you would have felt that same way?

Fabian: It definitely did for a little bit. I mean, obviously then started applying these, all this. The thoughts and process of like the Chaminger brand to overcome that barrier. 

Stephani: And just so everyone knows, just because, we both are trying to live this, these daily and just these key things, doesn’t mean that you can’t have a minute of weakness or a moment. Because we’re human it’s it’s gonna happen. That’s just how we are. But then, you know, you have your moment and then just take a step back and reflect and change your mindset. View it in a different perspective and find the lesson. Anyway, continue. I just wanted to throw that out there. 

Fabian: I love that and thank you for that. 

Stephani: Yes. 

Fabian: It was rough, especially because I could have done things better. Always. But according to the client, the main reasons why they didn’t do it, they could have lied to me. It’s certainly possible, but I don’t believe so because that was not the relationship we’d established. The reasons were things outside of what I handled. There were things that were related to my company’s quality control, um, et cetera. I’m not going to get into, I’m not here to sling dirt, but it was things that I had zero control over. And it was things that were more related to like the marketing and executive decisions from the leadership. So I lost a life-changing moment because of things that were mostly outside of my control.

Yes, I might’ve been able to do a little better here and a little better here and I might’ve convinced them. But I didn’t also want to lie to them. Right. So like that’s such a critical piece that I want to mention is like, integrity and being honest. Right? Like that was key. So if they said, Hey, I heard this problem. Well, I’m like, you’re right. And it didn’t pay off. And what do you do? What do you do at that point? Well, that, like you said, that moment of weakness hits you. You’re like, Oh my goodness. Maybe I’m not good enough. But then you start thinking, you’re like oh wait a second. 

Stephani: How was I even able to continue to be having this conversation with this group for this long? If I wasn’t good enough. I don’t know if that’s what you were going to say, but that’s where my mind went. 

Fabian: Exactly. 100%. And I know that 9 out of 10 people would be killing themselves over it. And it’s over and they’re just going to be dwelling on it and all this stuff. It’s like, you gotta move on, but you also got to realize the lessons from there. You’re like, what did I learn? Cause you know what, I remember the next time I spoke to a small business and talked about this, I’m like, Oh my goodness, like they’re almost ready to make a decision. And we’ve only talked once and I’ve just had so much more knowledge. I can tell them everything. It’s like, Whoa, I remembered like eight months ago, I couldn’t do that. And now look at me. 

Again, it’s something that we keep talking about, but being able to look back at yourself, every so often, like do a check-in a month from now, two months from now, three months from now, four months from now. Where were we back then? And where are we now?

Stephani: The power of perspective, people. 

Fabian: The power perspective and the final takeaway from that story is the second part of how to view failure as a lesson is the key to controlling your emotions, your happiness. To almost everything is, how do you respond to an incident? It’s probably the hardest thing to do.

And I tend to have to usually take a step back and have some alone thinking time. But that’s just because I’m, I’m a person who’s very analytical. And then after that, I’m good. But most people don’t know how to respond to things and they overreact. When you actually can control how you respond to it and then view it, change your view on it and learn the lesson from it and then make a decision. That’s powerful. That puts you on a completely different playing field than most people. 

And I, I’m going to constantly reference that, but how you respond to things is key. So if someone says something that you’re not prepared to hear, or you don’t like, what are you going to do? Are you going to run away? Are you going to make a fuss or are you going to listen and be like, okay, how can we talk about this? And I could go on, but it really is again, changing your view and it’s going to keep going back to it. Once you have control over that, you are literally in the driver’s seat. I think too many people always remain in the passenger seat and not even the passenger seat, they are actually in the back seat and they’re letting other people drive them around and control their emotions and all these stuff. And it’s just very frustrating to see because so many people live significantly worse lives, just because of that. 

Stephani: You gotta take control of that wheel, because it is your life. And why are you allowing other people to control that, any part of your life, but just control the wheel in any way, shape or form. There’s no reason for that.

Fabian: I really liked that. I really, really like that analogy or that. 

Stephani: You came up with the analogy.

Fabian: It’s something that, it’s crazy to think about. How the moment we put too much emphasis on, you know, what other people think or on the negatives or what went wrong or what could have been, we stop living in the moment or we just limit ourselves. And I’m going to share a quick example because really the takeaways have been very present and very evident.

But it reminds me of my journey of getting to my medical software sales job here in Colorado. Where I turned down over 20 jobs. But I also failed to get about like eight or nine, very high tier, elite sales jobs. And that gets to you, especially when you already had done six to seven interviews and you’re on your eighth and you’re interviewing with the president or the CEO. And for some reason they just, I don’t like Mexicans that happened by the way. 

Stephani: Oopsie. 

Fabian: It actually still kind of bothers me. And 

Stephani: Well, you wouldn’t have wanted to work for that company anyway. 

Fabian: Power of perspective!

Stephani: Yes. But I could, I definitely understand how that could be frustrating because you could have been perfect for that job. Or let’s just say the president of that company wasn’t available that day and someone else had to perform the interview and that person love, loves Mexicans, or just loved your, your interview. And you may have gotten the job, but then, you know, you have to work closely with the president, let’s say, and then it just falls apart. You’re not happy and you end up hating the job because you just wouldn’t have gotten along with that person. 

Fabian: It just makes you realize that you can do everything right. And some people are just not going to like you, you know? Like I know that certain things, especially since I embrace the Mexican culture, I mean, I that’s part of my like opening line, right? Like, who are you? Tell me more about yourself. And I’m like half Mexican, half German and I love all this stuff.

And you know this and they’re like, You have too much energy or you it’s like, well, what are you going to do? You know? Like, do you change yourself for that? No. Cause like you said, if you do, you might get the job, you might be okay for awhile, but you’re going to end up resenting it and you’re not going to be, you’re not going to be happy down the road. And then we’re right back at stage zero, where- 

Stephani: you’re doing more interviews. 

Fabian: Yup. But the takeaway for the interviews, thank you for bringing me back to that. Was just, every time you failed an interview that you, or you didn’t get the job, I guess I should say. You could have had an amazing interview. You didn’t get the job. One of the things that I started asking a lot of them afterwards was like, well, what could I have done differently? Like what, one of the questions I even started asking in interviews to these sales managers or CEOs like that was like, well, what would be your ideal employee? If I work for you, what are the things that I could do to make you, your job easier? You start asking, then you start hearing things like, Oh, well, when I tell you to submit something by Friday, could you please submit it by Friday? Because then I have to defend you to the VP and I get chewed out and it’s not fun to get chewed out. I’m like, Oh yeah. You know, you start hearing some stuff like that. 

Stephani: If we ask you to do a training by Friday, make sure that you do it by the Monday before, because it’s a competition between the whole company to make sure that the whole team. 

Fabian: Yup. 

Stephani: Does the training before it’s actually due. 

Fabian: Yup. You shouldn’t be selling, guys. You shouldn’t be selling, you gotta be focusing on the training.

Stephani: Exactly. 

Fabian: But, it’s just, it’s changing your view on these interviews. Like you didn’t get the job. What did you learn? Now you have better practice. You have, you can refine your story. You can refine your resume. Oh, everyone is commenting about that part. Keep that in. Oh, someone liked that part. Keep that in. You know, you start seeing what works and what doesn’t and it’s the same thing, like, I mean, that’s sales 101. It’s like, Hey, you email the client, they didn’t respond. Okay, change the email. You emailed this time, oh, you got 10 responses, keep doing that. Now try to improve it even more. You had a PowerPoint presentation, no one responded to it, try without. You know, like so forth and so forth. 

Like there’s so many different things that you can do, but it’s always learning from it and changing your viewpoint on it. Didn’t work out? What good came from it. View yourself from their point of view. Oh, this random sales guy came in and did this and he annoyed me. Well, how would I feel if some guy did that to me? The same reason why I tell people, Hey, don’t just call me randomly, cause I’m not going to pick up. That’s annoying because I’m spending time with you, I’m working on the podcast and doing stuff like that. Text me, email me, ask me if I’m available. If I am, I will call you or you can call me, I’ll say absolutely. And it’s just being able to view yourself outside your body and understand how other people feel. Power of empathy, I guess. I don’t know. But 

Stephani: Yeah, I mean, that is a hard one though, too, because obviously everyone is different. So you know, that one person didn’t like Mexicans, but I mean, that’s another issue, but it’s just like some people, they may not love the, they may not like the energy that you bring. It’s, it’s too much for them, but that doesn’t mean that you should be changing that. Maybe you are like, okay, well maybe I should tone it down a little bit or no, I that’s who I am. That’s that’s how I want to perceive myself. And they don’t, if they don’t like it, then next. So it just depends on the scenario. Depends on the situation, but definitely take a moment to reflect, look at that, reflect on it. Is that something that I value? Is that something that is important to me? Yes. So I’m going to keep that or, I mean, I guess I could change that a little bit. It it’s not necessary or whatever the situation may be. But the point of the story is that changing your perspective on something doesn’t just have to be, um, how you view yourself personally. It could also relate to professionalism as well. And I liked that you brought that in too. 

Fabian: Yeah, well, it’s something that we’re definitely going to touch upon in other episodes, but I think it’s important that people realize that, um, once you can start changing your perspective, you can start changing things. You can start becoming more self-aware, because all of a sudden everything changes. You started realizing what really matters, what really doesn’t, who you like spending time with you, who you don’t. 

Once you can take a step back and almost think critically and pause, and how do I respond to this, you know? How did this make me feel? I’m like, am I really enjoying myself right now? Like it’s just really being able to take that step back. It opens up so many doors, it’s an unlock to so much, and it really is the first key to Becoming Xceptional.

Stephani: #BecomingXceptional. 

Fabian: And just remember guys, #StayAmazing as well. 

Stephani: Yes. 

Fabian: You are better than you think. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And if you don’t think you’re amazing, that’s exactly why you need to go on this journey, because something or someone made you think that, and it’s changeable, it’s learnable.

And that’s why Chaminger is here, never fear. 

Stephani: To help, to help back you up and realize how good you actually are and give you the tools to help you realize how good you are. 

Fabian: I love it. So I would say that is My 3 Cents on the power perspective. Do you want to conclude the episode first? 

Stephani: Yes. Well, of course, as always, we appreciate everyone tuning into this episode of My 3 Cents. Um, be sure to check out our other series as well, if you haven’t already. We have Real Talk, Social Wisdom, and we also have a couple of live streams, so make sure to check out everything Chaminger. And we are still growing, so please share our message with anyone and everyone, but especially with anyone that you think may resonate with our message. Because it really is, can apply to pretty much anyone. It doesn’t matter their age, their demographic, where they’re from, um, what kind of clothes they wear. It can literally apply to everyone in some way, shape, or form. So just please continue to share our message. Subscribe to our podcast. And if you like what we’re saying, and you have the means, please feel free to donate because we want to continue to grow and that link will be in the description for this episode. 

Fabian: Perfectly said, and guys, remember if you’re feeling shy or you’re hesitating to join the community and be public about it, we appreciate and read all emails and all private messages on all our social medias. So, hit us up. Uh, ask a question, share a story. And if you want to write an email anonymously, we love that as well. We are here to help you. We are here to grow together. Change your view on it. It’s not you being a failure or not being good enough. It’s you taking the first step to Becoming Xceptional? Be you. 

Stephani: Be free. 

Fabian: Stay amazing. 

Stephani: Chaminger out.

Fabian: See you guys next time on My 3 Cents.

May 17, 2021

My 3 Cents: Power of Perspective released!

Hello everybody…how are we today?! My 3 Cents: Power of Perspective released today marking the fifth episode of that particular series, another amazing milestone!

In other news, we also are going to be celebrating our 1 month launch-iversary with a special live stream. We will be announcing the winner of our new giveaway (YES, we will be doing another one, you heard it here first folks!); we will be sharing our opinion on how the first month has gone; we will also discuss our new product launch and finally we will be also starting our journey on Clubhouse as well!

Don’t miss it here on Clubhouse!

Follow us @Chaminger on Clubhouse to never miss a live session!

Make sure to listen and read the transcript to this very special episode of My 3 Cents. Today we discuss one of main keys of Becoming Xceptional – learning to understand the power of perspective and how viewing yourself from an outsider’s perspective is critical to gaining self-esteem and happiness.


Listen to My 3 Cents: Power of Perspective released today!

My 3 Cents Episode #5: Power of Perspective Part 1
My 3 Cents Episode #5: Power of Perspective Part 1
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And read along – the transcript:

Fabian: Hello everybody. How are we today? My name is Fabian Chagoya. 

Stephani: And my name is Stephani Furminger and you are listening to Chaminger: Becoming Xceptional. 

Fabian: And this is My 3 Cents about the power of perspective.

Hey, Stephani. 

Hello, Fabian Chagoya. 

So how does it feel? We finally launched we’ve been doing it for a bit. What are your thoughts versus your expectations? 

Stephani: Well, it’s definitely, um, I would say a lot more work and I don’t say that in a bad way, but it’s just, there’s so much involved. And I know that we were kind of, um, figuring that out while we were getting everything ready, but it’s just crazy once you’re launched. Then not only are you trying to manage the day to day, but then there’s also figuring out new things, different ways to do things and the best way to do things and tweaking things here and there. And it’s a lot, but it’s definitely been a fun adventure, navigating through all that. 

I love hearing that because that’s all I’ve ever wanted for us, for you. For me, it’s. Part of that growth journey. Fabian: It’s experimenting, learning something new, challenging yourself, and boy, has it been a challenge. 

Stephani: Yeah. How do you feel it’s been going and your expectations versus the reality? 

Fabian: Absolutely terrible. Why aren’t we a million followers yet? Just kidding. It’s been incredible. It’s been absolutely amazing to see that hard work pays off. Passion pays off. People are resonating with the message. Although I will say it’s very interesting to see that a lot of people are enjoying the content, but there’s this hesitancy about expressing that it resonated with them. And I think right now we’re kind of going on a journey of figuring out more of that why. I know there’s, it kind of relates to our whole Chaminger: Becoming Xceptional message where there’s this, you know, insecurity, lack of confidence, lack of self-esteem and also caring too much what other people think. But we’re working on creating a way for you guys to open up to us, to a community in a more private way that lets you feel confident in, you know, knowing that there’s other people going through this with you. And I think that’s something that’s really powerful. 

Stephani: Yeah, I completely agree. And yeah, we have been talking about that a lot in the best way for people to be able to feel like they can open up. Because if they’re just beginning their journey, yeah, they’re still going to have those insecurities and um, they’re not necessarily going to want to share, or like, or comment because then what if someone else, uh, that they’re friends with sees that they liked that post. They’re like, Oh, well, I mean, nobody’s really gonna, I mean, maybe people will think that, but it’s just like, well, they probably have those same insecurities too. They just don’t feel comfortable opening up about it. 

Yup. So what’s the lesson, guys? It’s okay to be where you’re at right now. It’s a work in progress. That’s what we’re doing. I mean- 

But step outside of your comfort zone too. Um, that is I think a very valuable thing to remember because you may be going through this, but you’re not alone. There are so many other people out there going through, maybe not the exact same situation as you, but they may have the same insecurity or similar insecurity or the same hesitation. So you, you commenting or liking or sharing something that really resonated with you may also really resonate with someone else that you didn’t even know it may resonate with them. So, 

Fabian: I really love that. I think there really is something about, I mean, humans just naturally are attracted to like community and fitting in and being part of like the tribe and having a place in society. It just is really comforting knowing that and you don’t have to worry about, Hey, do I belong here or not? So seeing someone else do it and they open up, then it’s like, Oh, I can do it now. It’s almost like we need like a few ambassadors. So Hey, if you want to be one! To be like, Hey, this actually really resonated with me. I would love to, you know, be a guest. I would love to be on the live stream and so forth. I think there’s something to be said about that. 

I’m curious how you feel, because I know this has probably been- I’m, I’m good at now being very vulnerable, because that was one of the key things that led me to get to where I am today. Where I can talk about this so passionately, right. Where you have to open up and like let the poison out and share what’s on your mind and what you’re really feeling, what you’re really thinking and not just talk about superficial things. 

It’s also kind of crazy, you know, especially as you guys have probably heard in the previous episode, I was so private before and then it’s like doing a complete 180. Where it’s like, we’re on all the social medias. I’m on TikTok, I mean, who would’ve ever thought? And it’s like, we’re sharing these very, intense, deep messages, but they’re powerful messages. They’re good messages, but a lot of these are very personal stories. So I know that it’s been exciting so that people can kind of really see the real me, but also it’s been kind of intense as well. So I’m curious how you feel being that vulnerable. 

Stephani: Yeah, it’s definitely a big change for me as well. Um, it’s one thing and I’ve always had trouble opening up just in my life in general, not even on like social media or to the world in general, just personally opening up even to myself, let alone anyone else. So it’s definitely been a little bit of a struggle, especially just opening up to everyone. So it’s, it’s an interesting journey, but I’m trying to practice what we preach. Not, everyone needs to necessarily open up to the entire world, all of their insecurities, but we want to make sure that we’re teaching everyone else, our audience, all of our Chamingeritos that it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to have insecurities. You just need to figure out what they are and then work on squashing them. 

Fabian: I love it. So let’s get to the topic today, huh? 

Stephani: Yeah. Oh, by the way, everyone. Um, I love blankets, so I’m sure that you’ve probably seen, um, me in the background with a blanket on. So sorry, I’m wearing a blanket right now, but it just comforts me. So don’t judge, I’m sure a lot of you are in the same position. a lot of you that work in an office, I’m sure you would love to be able to wear a blanket on you 24/7, if you could. 

Fabian: Yes. I love it. I love it. 

Anyway, so our topic today… 

Is the topic of the power of perspective. If I said that to you randomly, like we were at a bar having a drink, what would come to mind? I feel like that’s something that people are just like, Oh yeah. Perspective, perspective, perspective. It’s a word that you hear thrown around left and right. I feel like it’s kind of lost a lot of its value and people just hear it and they almost just like shrug it off. Do you ever feel like that has become a thing? Like where a big word like that there’s such a, a powerful topic, meaningful topic has almost become marginalized. 

Stephani: Yeah. I mean, I think there are so many things that have just become marginalized and just made into a smaller, um, deal than they actually are. And once you take a step back and actually think about it and reflect on it, it’s like, wow, that really is a big, big piece. So I’m excited for this talk today because I think that so many people need to hear what we have to say about the power of perspective and what it actually means as opposed to what the general consensus of what it’s become. 

Fabian: Perfect. So the power perspective and the reason why I looked at the audience right there is because I want everyone who’s been following the Chaminger journey, or if this is your first time tuning in to realize that this is a topic that’s going to be constantly brought back up. But it’s one of the five keys that we’re going to cover throughout our journey of really Becoming Xceptional. There’s a lot that goes into it, but if I would have to summarize it into five key pieces, it’s power perspective, it’s breaking free from the shackles of judgment, not caring when people think, honesty, authenticity, and having a positive mindset all while practicing ABI. Check out last episode, if you don’t know what that is, but that’s really, those are the core themes that support everything of what Chaminger represents. 

And all of those kinds of like branch off into Stephani: subtopics and whatnot. So it’s not just that, but those are kind of the key, key pieces to where we’re going with this Chaminger brand. 

Fabian: Absolutely. And that’s why today we want to focus on power of perspective, because I feel like that’s where it really begins. It’s being able to change how you view something, it’s such an underrated skill. I want to start with an extreme story, an extreme example to kind of paint the picture for everyone so that they realize, it’s probably going to, everyone’s going to be like, Oh, of course, that’s what that means. But that’s why I share those extreme examples with everyone. Because you’re going to hear this constantly throughout the journey, Fabian’s extreme examples. The reason why I do is because if that extreme example makes sense to you, then you need to apply that same logic to everything. If that extreme example does not make sense to you, then you’re like, wait a minute, why doesn’t it make sense to me? 

So the example that I want to share is let’s just say, this is your first time traveling somewhere. You’re a well off businessman, extremely well off. Maybe you own restaurants and you know, you care about what people think. You have a $5,000 suit, you have a Rolex, you drive the latest BMW. You’re extremely well off, right? 

Stephani: Now this is an important question to this story. Where are we traveling to. Where is this, uh, theoretical person traveling to? 

Jamaica. 

Got it. Okay. Sorry. I probably jumped the gun on that one. 

Fabian: No, I love it. Basically what I wanted to paint the picture is traveling to a third world country. But this person is insecure and that’s why he’s buying all these expensive things, because- 

Stephani: Does anyone know that he’s insecure?

Fabian: He’s never publicize it. 

Stephani: Got it. I’m just trying to get the full picture here for myself and everyone else. 

Fabian: Thank you. 

Stephani: Yes. 

Fabian: Because I know, I forget things. 

Stephani: No, you’re doing great. 

Fabian: So this guy is insecure. He cares too much what people think and there’s many reasons why, but the point is he bought a lot of these things for the people, his friends from a high school and his college buddies and his three ex-girlfriends. That all cheated on him. Um, he bought these things to show them that he made it. That he’s kicking ass and taking names and his life’s amazing. But he’s never really traveled outside of the United States because he’s like, what’s the point? Like there’s no reason to travel and experience other cultures.

For some reason he’s motivated all of a sudden to travel. Maybe it’s for a business deal, whatever. The point is he still going to go somewhere he’s never gone before. This guy is insecure, he’s struggling. Maybe he feels like he’s not good looking because he gained 10 pounds, maybe- 

Stephani: during COVID

Fabian:  Maybe a million other things, but he’s just not happy with himself.

He goes to Jamaica and he spends one week there, but his reservation at this expensive resort got canceled. So now he has to stay like at a, just a local hotel, two stars, and kind of live with the locals. Everyone who meets him and sees him there was going to view this businessman as successful, probably an arrogant prick, but they’re going to view them as successful, happy, he figured it out. There’s nothing that could possibly be wrong in his life. He has everything that he could possibly want and need. They view him as almost like this God, like perfection incarnate. They don’t know anything that’s going on in his life. Right? Like deep down, like personally and in his head.

But these people just view him from that perspective, from that viewpoint, they know nothing about him and they see that. Obviously they’re assuming, and they’re making connections, but that’s how he’s presenting himself. So then you have to take a step back. If these people that have nothing view him that way, why is he viewing himself a completely different way?

And then the best part about this story is going to be that when he’s there, he sees these people and all the people he interacts with that are literally living in terrible conditions because they don’t have jobs. There’s no opportunities. COVID completely destroyed tourism so they’re making no money. They’re literally like barely surviving, but they’re happy. They’re happy. Because all they know is, Hey, just, uh, listen to their music, to their Bob Marley, hang out with their friends every day now because they’re not working, they get to see their buddies. They get to catch up, share stories. Life is great for them.

If this guy comes and they’re like, Oh my God, like who is this guy? They think he has everything, but who’s actually happier in this scenario, who has it? And what’s crazy is that if this guy had the same mindset and perspective as these Jamaicans, his life would be completely different and then you have to ask yourself, why can’t he? So what do you think about that story? 

Stephani: Well, um, that’s a great, uh, is it a true story? No, I’m just kidding. 

Fabian: There’s sprinkles in there.

Stephani:  I’m sure. I’m sure it’s a true story for someone, somewhere. But, um, it really says a lot about, I mean, obviously as you said, it’s an extreme example and not everyone can necessarily relate to that exact example, but you’re just painting a picture of how you can take a step back and realize perspective means a lot. Because you may have next to nothing and be happy, or you could have, have absolutely everything that you could ever want and need from like a living standpoint and be absolutely miserable because you’re just not happy with yourself or you know, whatever it may be. Actually viewing it from other perspectives and how they view that other, how everyone else views that other person is just a crazy thing to realize and remember. 

Fabian: Once you actually started realizing, it’s like, these people, I mean, they might have never even had a smartphone, right? So their access to knowledge is severely limited, in comparison. And we’ll get into that, but it’s almost like knowledge as a curse because the more, you know, the more you’re aware of. It’s like, sometimes it’s just good to just live life on the flat plane, not worry about climbing the hill or the mountain.

They literally view this guy as like, there’s no way this guy could be insecure. If like I went up to them and was like, do you know that that guy’s insecure? He’s unhappy, he thinks he’s ugly, he’s fat or whatever. And all these people are gonna like, 

Stephani: How? How could they ever think that, he seems to have everything. Because he has all these flashy, fancy things. But you don’t really know what’s going on internally, but that’s just the power of perspective. You know, you see this person and you assume that they have everything that they could ever want and need, but they don’t. 

Fabian: Exactly. I think there’s a few takeaways there, but I would say number one is, that’s why I’m such a strong believer in, you know, don’t judge people. Everyone always makes internal judgments pretty quickly about someone, but you thought it, don’t put more value to it. Get to know them. Don’t make assumptions. I mean, this whole journey is showing the entire world. I mean, us, but, I know that was my personal motivation to be like, Hey, you guys are actually going to get to know me for once because people just assume so much. 

It really gets very interesting when you realize that if you can start viewing yourself and your accomplishments and where you’re at from an outsider perspective, from a third party. Like if you could actually, like, let’s just think like a horror movie, like you can, your spirit can get out of your body and you could see yourself now. Like if you were in a movie or a TV show, you were watching yourself. You’d probably talk and think differently about yourself now because you’re almost like the stranger. You are another person. 

Stephani: Yup. 

Fabian: And that’s when things get really, really interesting to me, because that completely changes the game. Once you’re able to do that, that’s the skill set that I want to make sure people start working on and start realizing that they need to do. Whenever anything happens, good or bad, or you have doubts or you feel amazing. Take a step back and start viewing yourself from that third-party perspective. 

Stephani: And a situation may happen, um, earlier in the day, and then you look back on it or an hour ago and you look back on it and you just think about it, reflect on it. And then you’re like, well, why was I so insecure about that? Or why was I so worried about that? Um, or it could have been something that happened two years ago, three years ago. However long ago, it may have been, and just view that in a different light. View that situation, that scenario in a different way. 

You know, you may have, um, done a really, really terrible, going back to your sales, a terrible pitch. Like let’s just say, um, it was a zoom meeting and zoom kept like flashing in and out and the PowerPoint wasn’t loading, but then it’s like, okay, well that happened. But then since everything wasn’t working, we just had a conversation and it was a better pitch than it would have been a PowerPoint. So it’s just taking a step back and finding the positives in whatever situation you may have thought was absolutely terrible.

Fabian: Well, I love that you brought up sales and it’s just, 

Stephani: uh-oh! 

Fabian: It just really makes me think that, um, you know how our opinion of ourselves is so wrong most of the time. And the problem is that most people, strangers, friends, almost everyone is very hesitant to give compliments or feedback. Negative feedback is a lot more common, but it’s very rare for people to give positive feedback to people. It’s just something that most people just don’t do. 

Stephani: I’m just, as soon as you said that, I just think about, I mean, it’s slightly different, but it is about giving feedback. And it’s like, people that, let’s just say they go to a restaurant and they’re like, Oh my goodness, the service was absolutely terrible. The food was terrible. Everything was terrible. They’re going to write a negative review, but let’s just say every, or they went to this restaurant a different day and had a different server. They weren’t as busy. And the service was amazing. The food was amazing. Oh my gosh. The experience, everything was absolutely amazing. Most people aren’t going to write a review about that. They’re going to only write the review when it’s negative. Because for whatever reason, people always want to find the negative in things. They don’t ever want to celebrate the positives. 

And that’s why another one of the keys is to change that to a positive mindset, because you’re right. We always tend to view things almost negatively, or like, what did we not get? What did we not reach? What did we, you know, et cetera, et cetera. And now you change it to, well, what did we get? What did we find? What did we achieve? It really is the game changer and you start doing that for everything. Fabian: It really, those two connect so well, perspective and positive mindset, but it starts with changing your perspective.

The reason why I said about the feedback thing is because you start creating a self narrative for yourself and you don’t even realize it. You start hearing people. And once we end up talking about the topic for another episode, the power of network and the people you surround yourself with, and they start saying things to you. So you start listening to them. Your parents are saying things to you, your friends, your coworkers, your boss, and those start forming your, your opinion of yourself. You have your own opinion, but they help form it for the better, or for the worse, usually for the worst. 

So, what then ends up happening is that you start thinking of yourself a certain way. Since most people don’t tell you that you’re good or that things are going well, or stuff like that, you just are taking in all the negative feedback. And let’s be real, for some reason, we still also don’t end up taking compliments the same way. You know? 

Stephani: I feel like the, the negative comments, they always outweigh all the positive comments or feedback. For whatever reason, that’s just the way a lot of people, most people, think, and that’s the way their brain works. But you gotta change that mindset and take in all those positive comments and remember all of those. And I’m still working on this as well, but you know, those, those negative comments view as a learning experience. 

This restaurant, they were doing really terrible, but then they got a new head chef. And then, um, one of their servers, they found a better way to maybe they, they couldn’t wait on five tables at once, they could only do three at once. And then the manager realized that, and then they changed that about their section. So now there’s a new head chef and that server is no longer overwhelmed and then they flourish and they become this amazing employee. And then that same person comes back and they have an amazing experience.

So sometimes you just have to take those negative comments and feedback and just find the lesson and figure out how to improve on whatever that negative comment was. 

Fabian: I love how you always go straight for the kill. You hear a thing and you always find the lesson and you always find like the takeaway. You’re so good about that and I love that. So the lesson really of the power perspective is starting to view things differently. But what do I mean by things could be anything, right? Could be traumas, issues, fears, uh, anything, but really the big takeaway is viewing failures as a lesson.

What did you get out of it? What good came out of it, because guess what? They’re probably still was 80% bad, but if there was even 20% good, focus on the 20%. Because again, the way you view things. The way our brain works is like, if right now I said, Hey guys, did you know that I saw cat riding a camel? All of you thought about a cat riding a camel, a hundred percent. No one pictured a kid surfing in the ocean. Oh wait, now you did. That’s why the power of suggestion is so strong, because the way the brain works is, you hear something, you think of something, period. No one can argue differently. I will not even entertain that.

So what ends up happening is you end up hearing all these negative things, you end up hearing failure. People tell you negative things, you focus on that. You think that, it becomes your reality. Now you change it. Like for example, now let’s get into some stories that I think a lot of people- 

Stephani: Storytime with Fabian, I feel like that could be, a, a segment of ours.

Fabian: Well, we’re going to write a book. I don’t know it it’s a book meant for, uh, for bedtime. 

Stephani: Kids. Yeah. 

Fabian: Maybe. So little Fabian went up the Hill. Well, it takes me to a thought where, for example, I would say 95% of people, they might’ve assumed, or maybe a few people might’ve guessed if they were good at psychology, but I would say 95 to 98% of people that have met me would have never guessed that I had so many traumas and issues and insecurities and fears and all because of my upbringing and my past.

And like, for example, that they know that I wasn’t confident in my looks. That for example, my eyebrows or when I was, uh, a young teenager, I was overweight for a short period of time and that affected my self image. Did they know that I had fear of attachment and commitment issues. Do you think they knew all that?

Stephani: I definitely didn’t know that when I first met you. 

Right? And it’s just, I can present myself confidently and I might’ve already overcame them, or I might just not be thinking about them, but deep down they’re there. And it just goes to show you like that was actually one of the things that changed my perspective was applying that, view yourself from a third party perspective.

Fabian: If none of these people that just met me think that, why the heck do I think that? Because I’m not letting go of the past, because I’m dwelling, because of this. It’s like, that’s when you start realizing, you gotta be able to laugh at yourself and your past. Those failures, those mistakes, you gotta laugh at it. I’m like, Oh my God, do you remember the one time that I was supposed to do a presentation to the CEO of the largest pediatric group? And I ended up going to the wrong side of town and I ended up visiting another pediatric group because I misspelled it. That didn’t actually happen. 

Stephani: I was like, I haven’t heard that story before.

Fabian: No, it was just an example. I’m like, you know what? Yeah, it was bad in the moment, but at the end of the day, you’re like, can you imagine that I lost like a deal that would have made my year because I misspelled a location in my GPS on my phone? Like, what can you do but laugh at it. There’s like, there’s nothing you can do to change it.

Stephani: Yeah. 

So that was kind of where it started for me. Was realizing that all these strangers that have never met me think I’m incredible. Think I’m amazing. Think I’m, good-looking. Think that they want to be like me. They want to have my confidence. They want to have my approach to life. 

Fabian: Yet I am feeling down. I’m feeling insecure. I’m not feeling good with myself. There’s a big disconnect there. And that’s one of the first things that you need to start paying attention to. When there’s a disconnect from what everyone else is telling you or what people think, they might have not tell you in person, because most people just don’t like we talked about, versus what you think. Why? Probably because you are way too harsh on yourself and you’re viewing yourself in a negative light. 

Another thing that I think about when talking about how other people view you is, when you start realizing a lot of people view you on a much higher level than you view yourself. That’s one of the key takeaways that I want people to have from this episode is you are significantly better than you think. Every single person out there is a lot better than they think.

Hey guys, thanks for tuning into My 3 Cents. This concludes this part. We hope the stories were as impactful for you as they were for us. We are so excited that you’re experiencing this journey with us to Become Xceptional. Please remember to leave a comment on your thoughts. Did our perspective connect with you? What was your favorite part? You know, the drill. Check out our website at www.chaminger.com and follow all our social medias to get the full Chaminger Xperience. My final 3 cents for today, please subscribe and follow our podcast and tune in next week to hear more of our stories and crazy, but insightful perspectives. You don’t want to miss it. Be you. Be free. Stay amazing.

May 10, 2021

Giveaway winner announced & My 3 Cents: #ABI Part 2 released!

Hola from Chamingers. We can’t believe we are on week 3 of having launched our podcast! My 3 Cents: #ABI Part 2 released today! Some other exciting updates. Our 2nd giveway has just completed and we have a winner for our $75 Amazon Gift Card. Congratulate Teresa Wellman! We appreciate all of you who checked us out and explored our message. It means the world to us.

We had 2 great live streams last week. Please make sure you tune in every Thursday at 2 PM MDT and Friday at 4 PM MDT. You will always have an opportunity to chat with your hosts and founders too!

Coffee stream discussing boundaries

Happy hour discussing social skills and #doitforthestory

Make sure to listen and read the transcript to the conclusion of this very special episode of My 3 Cents. Always be improving is a concept we live by and is the reason we have completely changed our lives so drastically in the past few years. Everyone should pay attention and take it to heart.

Too many people get complacent with where they’re at and feel as though they can’t or don’t need to change. Why would you willingly continue to be a victim of your circumstances? Instead gain new perspectives by moving out of your hometown, become friends with people that cheer you on, or find a job that appreciates your hard work. Leave the excuses and justifications behind and join your hosts in a discussion about one of the keys to Becoming Xceptional, the concept of #ABI – always be improving.


Listen to My 3 Cents: #ABI Part 2 released today!

My 3 Cents Episode #4: #ABI Part 2
My 3 Cents Episode #4: #ABI Part 2
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And read along – the transcript:

Fabian: Hello everybody. How are we today? My name is Fabian Chagoya.

Stephani: And my name is Stephani Furminger and you are listening to Chaminger: Becoming Xceptional. 

Fabian: And this is My 3 Cents about #ABI, always be improving.  

Welcome back to My 3 Cents by Chaminger. Thank you for joining us as we continue our previous discussion on a journey to Becoming Xceptional, since this is a multi-part episode. If you have not watched the previous segment, we highly recommend it for context, but feel free to continue and experience the valuable message delivered in this episode, regardless.

We appreciate you. We hope you enjoy listening to our 3 Cents.

 Perfect statement right there to transition to this next point, skipping. 

What does that mean? What does that involve? And I want to talk about something where it’s like, progress in one year.  I think everyone should look back at the end of the year on New Year’s, how far have I come in one year? 

The reason why I bring this up, because obviously it’s going to be probably hashtag and branded and all this stuff soon, but a Fabian year is impactful. I change a lot of one year, I grow a lot in one year, I accomplish a lot of one year, I do a lot in one year. I guarantee you, if people are watching this that knew me when I was 21 and now I’m 29, they would be like, Oh my God, look at you. Eight years, baby, eight years.

Think about what you guys have done in those eight years. The sad reality is, I guarantee you a lot of those people that are watching me, if they did get access to this eventually, they’re probably in the same spot that they were eight years ago. Dead end job, whatever it is and that’s fine for a brief period of time, but don’t you want to do more?

Is that what your dream? Is that your passion? Like those people are doing the same thing that I might’ve been doing, let’s say when I was 16. There might be still people that are working at a grocery store that I worked at when I was 16. Hey guys, 13 years later, what have you done in those 13 years? This is what I’ve done in those 13 years.

And everyone has a different life, but you realize we all have the same exact 24 hours. And that’s when things get really interesting.  

Stephani: But I will say there are, we do need grocery store workers. So, it’s okay if you’re in that job. And you know, there may be a lot of reasons why you can only do that job. Maybe it’s the hours or maybe it’s you have a family and that’s really all that you can do at the time. So there is something to be said about needing those people in those positions, but if you are looking to improve professionally, then you need to be taking those steps in order, in order to do so.

Fabian: Yep. No. You’re right. And I mean, people will eventually always fill those positions because- 

Stephani: They’re entry level positions and anyone can get them. 

Fabian: Yup. 

Stephani: Yep. 

Fabian: But there is value to people that do them and we need you guys, as evidence during the pandemic. So I will say thank you because seriously, I wouldn’t have the balls right now to be working in a grocery store every day where you’re exposed. There’s so many people that might not even be wearing masks. So- 

Stephani: Yup. 

Fabian: But going back to where I’m like, what happens if you skip steps? Um, that essentially happened to me when I got my medical software sales job. I had not done B2B sales before, and this is a job where most people had, like, seven to 15 years of experience. I was used to B to C, which is our, the business to a customer. Which is harder in a sense of it’s pure selling, but there’s certain things and rules and regulations that you learn and contracts in a business to business environment that are not relevant to customers. 

So all of a sudden you have to learn all this. Now that is where I thought I was, I knew, let me rephrase that, I knew that I was the best salesman around pretty much. Like everyone said it to me, I was getting external validation. I knew I was convincing people that were like, yeah, sell me, man. I’m a top sales rep at this company, you can’t convince me to get a timeshare. And then 20 minutes later, he’s like, Oh my God, man. Let me reference you to my boss, you just convinced me. He’s like, you’re good. And that’s so validating. 

And I knew that I knew what I was doing, it was down to a science. That’s kind of scary, by the way, that you can figure out people. Cause it really is human psychology and social skills and body language and it’s repeatable. 

But then you get to business to business. And I actually took a step back, because I knew I had skipped a lot of steps. I got in through my connection with my boss and my pure sales skills, but I had no product knowledge in this medical industry. And I had no idea about the business to business rules and workflows and process. Like what, now I have to go like knocking on doors or calling people or emailing customers? And like, it was different before, because I had access to people that were walking by. You have to stop them as they’re walking by. Which is harder, but it’s a completely different game. So most people might be like, Oh, well, I got the job, I’m ready. 

Stephani: There’s definitely a big learning curve there. You definitely had a lot to learn. Tell us more about that process and what you learned about skipping steps from that.

Fabian: I learned that even if you are that confident, sometimes you got to take a step back and just be like, time to learn from others. So I zipped it. I was basically the silent protagonist that didn’t say anything but observed, during training class, everything. Like, I mean, I’m sure eventually this guy’s gonna watch it. But, uh, one of the guys that was in the training class, like he was giving me like random advice during our training class. I’m like, okay, whatever, man, I know everything you’re talking about, I could smoke you. But I just was listening. Like, well, what’s the process? Then I took a hundred pages of notes and everyone made fun of me for taking notes and all this stuff.

And I remember, I knew it was gonna probably about six months to learn the product, to learn the industry, to learn the business to business rules. And every one-on-one with my boss, I was like, well, I just asked him questions. Well, how about this? How about this? Give me an example. How did you do it? How did you do this? How did you do this? 

Every rep I asked, I would ask them that, I’m like, okay. And I started comparing notes and seeing how, what each person did. And I’m like, okay, that has clearly worked. That, oh, nope, don’t do that, that doesn’t resonate with my personality. About a year and a half later, when I made it to president’s club or when I sold that much to qualify for it, and one of the reps that was in that training class was like, dude, what, how?

I always knew I was gonna be there. He, he couldn’t understand it because I wasn’t bragging in the classes, going back to our previous episode. Like I wasn’t telling everyone about my skill set or who I am. I was just taking notes and learning. A lot of the stuff I already knew, but I’m like, okay, it’s confirming my knowledge, but I was improving.

So this guy already had like 15 years of experience doing business to business sales and in the same timeframe, where was he at? And where was I at? He’s like, how did you do it? What was your secret? What was your trick? Did you have like a secret thing and I’m like… I just made connections internally. There’s a lot more to it, but they couldn’t comprehend. I put in the work, I learned, every day. That’s how it’s done. 

Stephani: That’s a perfect example. And thank you for sharing that example, because we love your examples and your stories. 

Fabian: Yeah. I do want to talk about a few things and there are stories related to them, but they’re relevant to this topic. It’s going to be obviously a little longer of an episode because of this. I want to talk about a topic that really resonated with me regarding always improving. It’s just being aware that you can think differently. And it kind of happened because I started thinking, or because I always started growing and started learning and wanting to be more than what I am, going on this, like, self-improvement journey.

It goes back to what I said about access to knowledge. I wasn’t even aware the world worked a certain way before. And really what I’m talking about here, and I love you guys by the way, just saying that straight up, parents, culture, you can disagree with them. Friends, you can disagree with them and be different and embrace you. And that’s okay. 

Just to give you an extreme example of that, just think about North Korea. There’s limit to the access of information that the population has. They censored the media, they prevent internet access, et cetera, et cetera. And who knows what other stories and how much of it is even true. But most people don’t know everything that’s going on outside the world because the government prevents them from knowing what’s going on outside the world. 

So now, if you grew up a certain way, if you were exposed to a culture that is very traditional, Mexicans, and your friend group is all like, yes men. And you’re just getting the same knowledge and the same viewpoints and like, this is how you have to be. You start believing that you have to be that way and you can’t be different. You can’t think differently. You have to impress when you host people. When you bring people over, you have to be like, perfect. And all this stuff, oh you can’t say that, what would the neighbors think? Like, that’s the kind of knowledge and information that was constantly like injected into my brain growing up. 

Culture, parents, friends, all that stuff, nothing wrong with it. It’s just who they are and what they were and how they grew up.

Stephani: Did it always resonate with you though? Or did you, was there a point where it resonated with you and then all of a sudden you were like, wait. But that’s not me. 

Fabian: I’ll just give a quick example, I, sorry, mom. But I remember my mom once got mad at me that, we were hosting some, like, friends and family, and I moved some of the pillows because I was laying there. And like, our dog jumped up and she was like, Oh my God, I just fixed and organized all of them. What are you doing? They’re coming soon. I’m like, like really, we’re freaking out over some pillows? Like it just, I couldn’t understand that, if they’re going to freak out over the fact that this pillow is not like in this position. I just couldn’t get that at that point already, but I’m like, okay, yeah, I guess. And then I fixed the pillow and there we were. 

 Then I started, this is where as I got older and I started living by myself, and another point that I want to bring up is- 

Stephani: You just didn’t have pillows. And that solved that issue.

Fabian: It did, it did. 

But it’s leaving your hometown. Leaving your safety net. Going somewhere else, where all of a sudden, you’re not only exposed to that one viewpoint, that one perspective. And it’s like, wait a minute, I can act differently? I can be different? I can think differently and that’s okay? And I’m not implying that, like, I got whipped or beat or punished. I didn’t, but it’s just, that was the one viewpoint, that was the way you lived, that was the right thing to do. 

Stephani: And that’s what you saw growing up. You have a tendency, everyone, not just you, but people have a tendency to imitate how they see things. 

Fabian: Yep. Yep. It was really surprising to me when I started going, especially really on this ABI journey. The self-improvement journey of reading, lots of books, talking to many different people from so many different backgrounds and that had success, some that didn’t have success, listening to videos, motivational speeches, et cetera, et cetera, Ted talks. So much, just getting so much information. I’m like, wait, you can actually question. And this is going to be crazy because most people might’ve already realized this, but literally I didn’t. I didn’t realize you could actually like, basically almost say no to the way you were raised, like what your culture, expectation was and your parents’ expectations was. I’m like, well, I can’t disappoint them. I have to do this because this is what my parents and my Mexican culture and the German culture expects. I could do that? I’m like, I could actually do that and things are going to be okay? 

Just that access, that exposure to new information, new knowledge was like a light bulb went off. I’m like, Oh my goodness. I can actually just be me. And like, I’m not gonna, I don’t know, get punished or something. Like, I don’t even know how to phrase it. It was just such a crazy moment to experience.  It was the game-changer, like that access of going on this journey of just learning more about how the world works and information and being like, Wait, Whoa. Oh my goodness. 

And it really, it makes me feel for the people that just don’t have access to more information and knowledge. And the reason why I say that is because I used to, again, work at the medical software sales job, and I would go to rural areas and I would go to not so rural areas. And you go to the rural areas and just, I would walk through there and seem like an alien people would be like, Whoa, what are you? And that just blew my mind that we’re all living in the same world, but that could happen. And it’s just, they just have the same friend group. They all live in the same spot. They’re, the best jobs are X, Y, Z business, that have been around for 80 years. And that’s it, like that’s their circle. 

Stephani: Yeah. It’s almost like, uh, when you move to a new place, you’re getting new perspectives on ways to live, ways to, things to do, et cetera. It’s basically just gaining new perspective from what you’re used to seeing and hearing and living every day. 

Fabian: Exactly and I mean, I was lucky that I already had a lot of the seeds planted at a young age because of the fact that we traveled and moved so much growing up because of my dad’s work. You know, living in third world countries and six countries, different countries, you start seeing commonalities, you start seeing differences.

It gave me already the motivation and the strength to like view different perspectives. I mean, not to sound too elitist, but I remember growing up, sometimes in the U.S. and the, like, for example, in Mexico or in Ecuador, kids would be saying something I’m like, you don’t know anything, man. Like, that’s not how the world works and I’m like a 13 year old kid and I’m thinking that about some other kid, you know? 

But that’s just crazy because that is what is access to knowledge. And that’s why I say like the people who are not always learning, not always improving, it’s you are literally playing on a different playing field. Like, there’s so many people that are up here and you’re down here. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But as long as you’re willing to put in the work and effort down the road to keep growing.  I would think most people want to know how the world really is rather than just living in their own little cocoon or shell.

Stephani: But I think a lot of people just get complacent and they feel comfortable on that plane, so they just stay there. And I mean, I can say that I’ve felt that in my life, so I’m sure that a lot of other people find that as well. And I know that we’ve talked about it a lot, but it’s nice to hear that being told to me that, you know, there are other things out there. There’s other perspectives, there’s other, uh, jobs there’s, you know, a lot more out there. So gather as much as you can in and see what you want, where you want to be, what you want to do. And don’t just keep doing the same thing every single day, just because you’re comfortable with that.

Fabian: Yup. And I want to keep repeating this because obviously this is a pretty intense view on yourself and the world. It’s definitely gonna rattle some people when they are like, well, why are you force people to change it? It’s not, if you are happy, like if you wake up satisfied, you are, you’re confident. You feel good about where you’re at in life. And you feel satisfied and proud with what you’re doing every day, you don’t need to. 

 It’s not something that everyone needs to do, but it’s something that I highly recommend everyone needs to do. Because yes, there might be a dark period after you start going down that journey where you realize, Oh my God, everything I knew is almost like a lie. There’s so much more out there. That’s pretty hard when, I mean not to get into like any, like old-school medieval religious debates or like when certain countries went and conquered and, um, imperialize other places. But it’s like, Whoa, we know nothing. It’s a culture shock. It’s almost like an identity crisis.

So again, not everyone needs to do this, but I find that if you are willing to do it, most people do want more in life. And you can get more, it’s just going to be maybe a one year of struggle and hard work, but is that worth it for another 70 years of amazingness? I say, yes. 

Stephani: Well, I think that’s a great lesson that if you want more, you can get more. Just that sentence. If you want more, you can get more 

Fabian: a hundred percent. 

Stephani: So I think that everyone just needs to remember that and just figure out what, you know, where you need to go, what you need to do in order to get there. I know that is a little difficult, but again, as you said, there might be a dark period in, or a learning curve, et cetera in trying to chase after your goal, but it is obtainable.

Fabian: Yeah. One of the key things I would say to starting that process is giving yourself permission to change and permission to grow. Cause I did not know that I could change that much. I mean, I think part of the problem is that you surround yourself again, going back to like your friend group, and it’s kind of like your identity. You, you kind of become who you surround yourself with. Your network is your net worth. Right? All those stereotypical sayings. And you almost feel bad leaving them behind. It’s weird, but I mean, I’m sure many people can relate, I’m sure you can relate. But there comes a point where all of a sudden, like after a year or two, you’re still with the same person and they’re exactly the same. And you might be still similar, you’re still interested in whatever that is. Maybe it’s a drinking buddy, but now you’re also doing 10 other things other than just drinking every weekend. Right? And you talk to them and it’s like, Oh, all I want to talk about is the latest beer or the latest tequila. And that’s cool, but let’s talk about that for 30 minutes. And then let’s talk about, you know, what are your thoughts on X, Y, Z, right?  

Stephani: Well, I think that relates back to your story earlier about your gaming community. Like, you know, when you first started that it may have been the shiny new toy that was, Oh, that’s, I’m so excited for this, this is so much fun. And then you start growing and then they, you start veering away from that, or start bringing up other things, et cetera. And then they’re like, well, what, what are you now? You were never like this before. So I think that really ties nicely back to that.

Fabian: Yeah. 

Stephani: That topic.

Fabian: There were people multiple times through my life. I mean again, sometimes it was those gaming people. Sometimes it was just even people that were in successful positions and jobs. And they saw me grow and they’re like, well, you’re not the same person you were a year ago. And I’m like… 

They were doubters. They almost were haters. And to those people, I say, you didn’t know me and most people that’s really what it is. They didn’t know you could do that. I was learning, I was growing. I mean, I’m half your age, why are you saying what I can and can’t do? 

That just, it’s one of the things that, those people don’t listen to them. Do your thing, try it out and see what happens. That’s my advice to that. I have accomplished things that so many people have said, you could never do it. Oh, you should go for this. You should settle for this. I mean, if I listen to people’s advice, I would have never moved to Colorado and got my medical software sales job. 

Stephani: So I think it’s good to listen to what other people have to say. I know that you’ve said this before, listen to what other people have to say, but formulate your own opinion and your own thoughts. Because someone’s, one person’s opinion may not suit you properly or may not be the best, best advice. So definitely listen to multiple people, look up other articles like you were saying and formulate your own thought, opinion, um, plan.

Fabian: Yep. I want to start tying this up to really more of the lesson. There’s been so many lessons today, it’s been an amazing talk. But I want to talk about, it’s okay to be unique. It’s okay to be different. It’s okay not to fit in. And I can say this because I’m the expert at being the weirdo. If you listen to the other shows and the other episodes, you know, growing up and living in so many different places and always being the weird one, the kid that does not “belong”. Or the alien basically. 

It’s like, I would always try to fit in. You know, I would change my thing. Like, how do I want to change how I talk, do I want, et cetera? You know, like, and I again think back to Colorado and how everyone that moves here wants to be a skier, have a golden retriever, a Subaru and drink craft brews even if they never drank in their life.

There’s an okayness to trying to fit in and grow your circle. But at the same time, you need to be you. And that was something that always be improving made me realize. It like opened my eyes to it is that, that’s what really confidence is, is loving yourself and loving your uniqueness and your quirks because that’s what makes you, you. That’s why I’m so confident because I know that I’m different than everyone else. And no one else has the knowledge and the stories and experiences I had growing up. The fact that I can share that and talk about those things, puts me at a level above so many other people. Yeah, I’m weird as heck, compared to so many other people, especially Americans. But that is what makes me amazing.

And that was one of the biggest lessons that I learned from always be improving and learning is that I’m like, Whoa, my uniqueness is actually my strength. My quirks, my different looks, my whatever, the way my voice sounds, my laugh, like all these things that make me, me are actually the things that I should embrace and celebrate, not try to change.

And once you have that perspective, you win 

Stephani: Again, such a valuable lesson, especially for anyone going through a weird phase in their life,  but just really for anyone. I mean, think about musicians. A lot of the really, um, successful ones are the ones that are unique. I mean, think about Lady Gaga. You know, she’s- 

Fabian: Dun, dun, dun, do, dee, dun, dun.

Stephani: I have no idea what song you’re singing, but we’ll go with it. Um, just think about her, all of her crazy looks that she does, and just remember that what is unique and different about you can be your strength because other people embrace them. And when you embrace it, that makes it your strength. 

Fabian: And I think this is something we need to talk about more about in another episode, cause this has already been an amazing, uh, talk and I appreciate you so much for not only embracing it, but the banter. Learning that other people struggle with these same ideas and thoughts was really probably the last lesson that I learned from this increasing my knowledge, in like always learning and improving. I’m like, wait, what, other people are also insecure? Other people haven’t figured it out? Other people are going through the same stuff, it’s not just me? And then like hearing it from other people that are like, you know that you’re like so far ahead of everyone else here? 

Like, especially at the medical software sales job. When I started hearing people say, you know, that you have things more figured out at 28 than a lot of these 40 to 50 year olds? I’m like, what up? And I got 12, 13 years to go still, or more. Think about it, if I’m already at this point at 28, where am I going to be at 40 to 50? And I’m worried and freaking out, and these guys are going through the same stuff?

They’re just better at faking and hiding it. Especially because I mean, there is benefits to it, but there was this big push of, you know, fake it till you make it. So all these people are like secretly struggling, but they don’t show it or tell you. Once you find out that they do, you’re like, Whoa, even people in powerful, “successful”, appear successful positions, they’re going through that stuff. You’re like, wait, it’s okay for me to do that too and that’s really the thing. 

This is a journey, it’s a long adventure. As long as you start changing daily habits, you keep working on yourself, you always strive for more and you start slowly identifying the things that you can improve and work on. That’s the game-changer. 

Stephani: Well, like you said, it is a long adventure because if you are always improving, then it’s literally a lifetime. 

Fabian: Yup. 

Stephani: So, yes, it is a long adventure and the startup may be the hardest part, but just remember that it’s going to pay off if you’re doing it properly and doing it right and doing it your way.

Fabian: Well, before we go, Stephani, what are your thoughts? Like if you applied it almost like to yourself in a very high level, few sentences, or however long you want to be. Like, how do you feel like you could apply this? Because again, like everyone is different. My journey is very different than other people.

Stephani: I mean, just for example, uh, with my, my last job, I had a huge learning curve. I mean, just like you and your medical software sales job. I had never worked in the industry before and it’s, it’s a big learning curve. And I just had to stick in there and remember, I mean, I was there for a very long time, I was there for almost 10 years and there’s just a lot that I personally wanted to, I wanted to grow in that position and I didn’t always feel that way when I first started. Like once I kind of got the hang of things, um, I was like, okay, I’m good.

But then I always felt like  I wanted to continually do more, but it was never like this big push. It was just little steps to learn more and improve, et cetera. But then towards the end of working there, I really wanted, I really wanted more and unfortunately my job couldn’t get me that, so that’s ultimately why I ended up leaving.

But I, I realized, and thanks to you, you helped me realize that I could do more and I could be more.  But unfortunately my job couldn’t give me that. So that’s why I, again, ended up leaving, but I did want, I wanted to strive for more. I wanted to learn more. I wanted to, uh, have more of an impact. 

Fabian: Well, I’ll say that you’ve accomplished all of that and there’s still more to come for both of us.

But my takeaway from that is it has to come from you. You wanted it, you had the work ethic, by the way, does she have the work ethic, and the motivation and you wanted to change your circumstances and you did. And I think that’s the key takeaway that it has to come from you. Other people can give advice, recommendations, but if you don’t want it yourself, it’s never going to happen.

Stephani: Yep. I agree. And I think that deep down, I always really wanted more. Which is why I, throughout my years there, I was continually adding more duties to my job and learning how to do different things, because I did want more. But I just didn’t realize that I wanted so much more than what I was able to get out of that position.

Fabian: That’s so impressive. I’m super proud of you. That’s, it’s a hard thing. It’s a hard thing to want more, to do more. Especially when, for me, it was easy with sales because you got a commission, but when you’re like on hourly or say, or salary, it’s hard to push yourself and self motivate because I had always an extreme, external thing that helped me. So the fact that you were able to do that solo, kudos. 

Stephani: Thank you 

Fabian: Well, I think this has been a bit longer, but it’s been very productive. And it’s something that goes to show you, this is really the foundation of everything that Chaminger: Becoming Xceptional is. Like, #ABI, always be improving. Like every topic that we discuss, previously and in the future, always comes back down to this.

Not only do you want to do this, but you have to start on this journey because you want it. And if you keep thinking about it and you keep learning, you’re that sponge and you pay attention to these things, it’s going to start slowly happening.  Look back every year, every few months, like do a check in, what’s your progress. And realize that whatever it is, that’s okay.

Even if you’re 1% better than you were yesterday. And better is subjective, it’s better for you. Do you think you’re better? That’s all the matters. Don’t listen to anyone else in that regard. If you feel you’re better than you were yesterday, you won. That’s my take on this.

Stephani:  Yeah. There were so many lessons in this episode and I mean, I’m going to be listening back to this episode and I’m going to be like, Oh, there’s a lesson, there’s a lesson, there’s a lesson.

So really there really was so much value in this episode. And it really is what the Chaminger brand is about. Um, again, that ABI, ABL, if you want to: always be learning. Um, but really there just was so much and  I appreciate all of your stories and all of your little gold nuggets that you love to give us. Um, it’s really so, so valuable. 

Fabian: You make it easy.

Stephani:  Well, I just want to remind everyone to #ABI and #BeASponge. We mentioned that earlier, and I think maybe we mentioned it in another episode, but it’s really they’re, they’re great reminders for yourself. And if you do go on some, any type of journey I do, as I mentioned earlier in the episode, it is really valuable when you start documenting that journey, because then you can look back on it later and remember, Oh, this is where I started. Because as you mentioned, it’s really hard to see the change from day to day. But once you go back and look at the beginning, then you can see where you were at the beginning and where you are now. So if you, if that is something that you like to see, I highly recommend documenting it in some way. You know, have like a daily journal or weekly journal or, whatever your journey is. It’s, it is definitely encouraging and valuable to document that throughout the way. 

Fabian: Well, with that, I love that. That’s perfect summary, Stephani.  Thank you so much for listening. We appreciate you. We couldn’t do this without you. So let us know what journey or what project you are working on for self-improvement or always be improving. And if you’re not, have you thought about starting? 

Stephani: And just remember to let us know what you think about this episode and follow the Chaminger brand. There’s a lot more comin’ and we’re coming in hot. 

Fabian: See you next time on My 3 Cents.  

May 3, 2021

New Giveaway & My 3 Cents: #ABI released!

Hello my fellow Chamingers. Some exciting news. We are doing a new giveaway & My 3 Cents: #ABI was just released. Make sure to listen and read the transcript to our latest episode of My 3 Cents. ABI is a concept we are extremely proud to share with the community, since it is the core of what it takes to change your life so make sure you pay close attention to this one!

April 26, 2021

Release schedule! Second episode of My 3 Cents #2 out now.

Listen and watch the second episode of My 3 Cents: keeping the mystery alive today! Just released. We are super excited for this episode because it marks our first video version of My 3 Cents, since the first episode only had audio. Now you get to see your hosts/founders banter on video as well! Watch here: https://youtu.be/sJjj3F-geXA

It feels good to create routine and start our official release plan, with a new episode every single Monday.

This episode we cover that oversharing could lead to the need for external validation. Taking a step back and thinking about whether you are doing it for yourself or for the feedback from others can help you gauge where you’re at. There is beauty in sharing, but your happiness and your self-worth should not be tied to what others will think. 

Hear our personal stories regarding keeping people in the dark and only sharing what people need to know as a powerful tool to bring intrigue, success, and less insecurity into your life. 

New episodes every Monday. Listen to our story. You don’t want to miss this journey. We believe in the power of stories and sharing them because people can relate. It is time for you to begin your journey with us!


Listen to the Second episode of My 3 Cents:

My 3 Cents Episode #2: Keeping the Mystery Alive
My 3 Cents Episode #2: Keeping the Mystery Alive
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And read along – the transcript:

Fabian: Hello everybody. How are we today? My name is Fabian Chagoya 

Stephani: And my name is Stephani Furminger, and you are listening to Chaminger: Becoming Xceptional. 

Fabian: And this is my 3 Cents: Keeping the Mystery Alive, second episode.

 Stephani, so what do you think this is the second episode? Crazy, huh?

Stephani: We’ve definitely been doing a lot behind the scenes, um, with just everything that goes on with doing a podcast and building things and getting things ready for launch. So it’s exciting to be able to be finally recording episode two. You’ve recorded a couple other episodes that we’re in the process of getting ready, but it’s cool to be doing the second episode of My 3 Cents. 

Fabian: Absolutely. And this is just gonna keep changing and improving over time. I mean, I’ve been working a lot with my brother on the Real Talk series. It’s been so interesting to see the progression and the changes and, you know, keeping everything straight, but it’s such a pleasure to come back to this. Cause this is really what started this whole journey. Was, you know, us sharing our opinion and our stories on how we feel about stuff. So, excited to come back here.  

Quick shout out to Stephani over here is she’s the best editor in the world. 

Stephani: Ah, I wouldn’t say that, but I’m definitely learning; we’ll put it that way.

Fabian: Yup, yup. It’s been a journey to learn so many new things. 

Stephani: Yup.

Fabian: I mean, what do you feel about that? Like learning so many new skillsets that you’ve never had to use before. 

Stephani: Well, it’s definitely a learning curve. But the program that we’re using, Descript. Shout out! 

Fabian: Sponsor us!

Stephani: It’s great using them because I’m able to edit video, audio and text all in the same program. So it honestly is a life changer. Cause I can’t imagine having to do all three of those separately or have to transcribe the audio separately. So it’s, it’s really been such an awesome tool and it’s been a pretty easy tool to navigate. 

Fabian: Awesome. I like to hear that. And do you ever have that feeling that sometimes, I get this all the time, I’m doing things at the exact perfect moment for me and my skill set. Does that ever happen to you? 

Stephani: No. Never. 

Fabian: I’m like, I wouldn’t be able to function if I wasn’t living in the, this world right now where technology can cover all your weaknesses. 

Stephani: Yeah. I think all of us, everyone in this day in age, kind of feels the same way about technology and where we’re at with technology, because yeah, I definitely could not imagine having to do things without all the tools that we have these days. 

Fabian: Well, let’s talk about that, so technology and tools. Technology and these tools have kind of infiltrated our lives, in a way I would say. To the point where nothing is really hidden anymore. I mean, there’s just been a documentary posted “The Social Dilemma” and we can go into depth about that. But really it’s we’re always being monitored. You’re always ‘on,’ there’s really no off time. Everything you do, people know about right away. And if you’re even a person that has slightly embraced the apps and all the social medias,  people know everything about you. 

Stephani: Yeah, it’s really scary. I mean, just seeing that “Social Dilemma” documentary and just knowing, I mean, obviously using social media and the internet in general, you know that they, quote unquote, are watching. But just seeing it behind the scenes and seeing how much “they” are watching and how much they are actually tracking is scary. But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop using Google and all that stuff. It’s, it’s definitely just insane to know how much “they” know and how much is being tracked. 

Fabian: Exactly. I feel like it’s something that I’m talking a lot about in my personal blogs about this journey, but it’s something I want to shout out here too. There’s been this almost major internal struggle that I’m experiencing where inherently now I’ve become a very private person for many reasons. 

 Doing this journey, all of a sudden is going like the exact 180. Where it’s like, Hey, you know, be vulnerable, be honest, be transparent. Show the ups and downs, show the lessons, show things. Obviously there is, there’s a-

Stephani: Fine line. 

Fabian: Yes. And there is ability to keep certain things private. People don’t need to know everything about your personal life and what you’re doing, all that kind of stuff. But, it’s a lot harder than I thought it was going to be transitioning back into that.  I know I, in the past, I used to be this guy that almost wanted this validation externally, like post updates on Facebook, on, you know, Snapchat share the stories of what’s going on that day. And it started with my family and like keeping my foreign family, in Mexico and Germany, up to date by posting stuff and pictures on Facebook.

But then slowly just kind of became a thing and you’re like, Oh my God, how many likes, how many comments, what’s up? You know? The past few years, I completely cut that off for many benefits, but going back to that as a business now and as a personal brand has been a lot more challenging than I initially anticipated.

Stephani: Well, yeah, there’s been so many changes to social media. I mean, I remember when Facebook first started, it was only for college students. You had to have an EDU email address in order to sign up. And, um, sometimes I just think about, reminisce about all the things, all the features that it used to have when it, when it first launched and to what it is now. That’s just one example and I haven’t even really played around with a lot of the new ones. It’s, it’s just crazy to think how much it’s changed and how many new features there are, how many different platforms there are, and they’re all being used in different ways, in different facets.

And it’s just kind of cool to see that, but it’s also very intimidating now that we’ve started this journey. Because like, okay, well, LinkedIn is going to be different content than what you’re going to post on TikTok, for example.  It’s just figuring out what type of content and what format, et cetera, that that platform is looking for, or the audience 

Fabian: Agreed. Agreed. It’s, it’s been interesting. It’s been interesting learning and adapting to all the changes because I mean, I’m sure you can relate what up Myspace! And like- 

Stephani: Oh my goodness. Yes. I always forget about that one because it’s not really around, if it is even around anymore, but it’s not really used. 

Fabian: Tila Tequila, are you still out there? 

Stephani: Oh, gosh. 

Fabian: All I know is, you know, putting some Linkin Park song as my profile song and the top five or 10. What up Tom? You know? It was like, this is such a weird thing.  I had come from like these foreign countries that were still catching up to that. So coming to the U.S. and people are like, well, what’s your MySpace? So I’m like, I don’t even know what that is. And then-

Stephani: What’s your space? 

Fabian: Exactly. It’s just interesting to think, like, how that was kind of like what started it all, but you were almost encouraged to show everything. To talk about your, like, more of your private life, what you’re doing. Then at the same time, you’ve got to ask yourself, is this really my life? Or am I starting to portray my life in a specific way for this platform? 

Stephani: Exactly. And as you were saying that, I was just thinking of all the people that just tell their whole life story on their social medias. And I’ve never really been the one to do things like that. I’m sure I’ve gone through phases of doing that, however, I’ve definitely backed away from social media a lot. Now just kind of having to ramp back up, but in a business format is definitely different. But yeah, it’s just crazy to think about all those people that just put their whole life out on social media. It’s like the, everyone is always watching, but do you really want to air your dirty laundry out to the rest of the world to be able to be seen for the rest of time. 

Fabian: Right. Well really quick. I guess, if you don’t mind sharing what kind of started making you swap from that? Hey, being posting more, doing that kind of things to like slowly starting to transition out of that. 

Stephani: Yeah. I mean, there were, I guess I would say a couple of reasons, but honestly, it’s just hard to keep up with. And I kind of transitioned from using Facebook to Instagram.  Just seeing the content that was on Instagram and what I would be posting, it was just never really like,  I didn’t feel like I needed to put as much out there at that point once I kind of transitioned.

Then I just kind of slowly kept backing off posting. And then now there’s  the concept of putting in your story. So it’s not necessarily out there for the rest of time until you delete it, but it’s only there for 24 hours. So I started doing that a little bit more, but then I just, again, I couldn’t really keep up with it. So it would just kind of be like when I would go on a trip or go visit my family, I would post something in my story. Then I just kind of stopped, but I still go on Instagram and I’ll check things out.  I have a couple of people that I follow that I like to keep up with, but I don’t post anything anymore for the most part. 

Fabian: It’s interesting how people go through that change. I feel like for me, what really triggered that was starting to realize the why behind me posting. A quick story, reminds me a lot of when I embraced Snapchat because people told me about it and I honestly thought it was kind of foolish. I didn’t really see the appeal behind it. I almost thought of like the way I heard about it and the way it was marketed, it just seemed to me like something for like high school kids to try to like sneak nudes, to be honest with you. Cause it like deleted after the post or something. Like if you send something to someone, they can screenshot it. And I was like, what is that the whole point of it? I mean, interesting demographic. I’m sure there’s definitely a market for that. 

I started working at that timeshare job. And there was a few people that were like, you gotta get on Snapchat. And I started doing it.  That was also when I started moving or that’s when I moved to downtown Seattle and I started having a very, let’s say, popular, successful party. 

Stephani: Hello party phase.

Fabian: Yes. It’s almost like marketing for the podcast now and the brand. It was almost like advertisement for the party. Because I, I really view it the same way it’s like, people are not going to know about the brand on the podcast without us putting it out there. Why would people go to my parties? They need to hear about it, I need to sell it, I need to advertise it, market it, people need to have reviews.

That was kind of what was happening, because every weekend  or biweekly, parties were happening. People started coming back, people started talking about it, more people want it to come, people start following me. They start seeing the Snapchats of the party, of the story of the party. Oh my goodness. Right? But at the same time, then you started looking at it the next day. You wake up after a binge night and you’re like, Oh, no! That was posted on there? Oopsie! 

Stephani: I definitely don’t remember that. And the ones that I do remember, why did I post that one on there? 

Fabian: Exactly. And it just got so bad. Like, I would go somewhere and I’m just like, hold on, gotta Snapchat it.

Stephani:  It just almost become like, you’re not living in the current moment and you’re just posting or getting things for the social media aspect, but you’re not actually present. 

Fabian: Exactly.  It really opened my eyes when I started like, kind of looking like, how many people were watching my stories, who’s watching it, like all these stuff. I’m like, why does that matter? I mean, am I not doing it for myself? The answer was no. 

 That’s when things started changing. That’s when I started toning down my Facebook posts. Um, I was really doing it for my family more than anything, but I started realizing that I was almost doing it for the external validation more than anything else. And when you start going in that territory, you realized like, Whoa, what’s going on? Like, am I doing these parties for other people so they can see that I’m living a cool life? I mean, even the days that I was just at home, go to my Seattle rooftop and be like, yo, what up view? And stuff like that. 

Yeah, that was my life, but was I starting to change my life?  Would I have done that normally if it wasn’t for that social media thing, that’s when things get really interesting.

Stephani: I think that a lot of people utilize social media for that, and that is what they’re posting and why they’re posting so that they can almost brag about things going on. Which is fine for them, but it’s not necessary. 

Fabian: I mean, I’m going to disagree with you. It’s not fine to be honest with you.  Once you start going down that route, it’s very dangerous. And it was one of the biggest things that I changed over the last year and a half of my life and it is a game-changer. It completely liberates you to be you and that’s really where my mantra of today’s topic comes from, keeping the mystery alive. 

There’s people that they’re out there on social media that I added as a friend on Facebook back in the day, like in high school or at the end of high school, beginning of college. I didn’t go to my high school reunion, but if I did, I would know everything about them before having even traveled back to my high school town and meet up with them. That’s a problem. 

Stephani: Yeah. 

Fabian: That’s a problem that, Oh, you got married, you got divorced, you got married again, you got divorced. Now you have two kids, both of them are with, you lost the kids. You’re paying for the kids because you post about and complain about it. Like, I should know that ? Are you kidding me? 

Stephani: Yeah. Especially if it’s people that you haven’t kept up with on a personal level. Like I just think back, um, like my parents. Do they know anything about the people that they went to high school with? I’m sure that they do now with social media, but before that it was just, I mean, even before email, you had to write letters. And that’s when you really know those are the people that you should be trying to keep in your life and should be sharing those things with. Do you really need to share them with all the random people that you wouldn’t make that effort with to write a letter to, send a postcard to, even just to send an email to now, these days. 

Do you really need to be sharing your dirty laundry on social media? Or, you know, portraying this life of yours that is maybe not the way that it actually is. You’re portraying a better facade on social media than what is actually happening. And that’s definitely a big problem with especially the younger generation and even whatever generation, because they’re viewing that and they’re thinking, Oh, I need to be that; that’s the goal. And there’s something to be said about that, but is that really, truly just everything that’s going on with your life or you’re just showing the good parts and not the, the bad parts as well. 

Fabian: It’s dangerous. And I don’t want to get into too much of a critique of social media because it is what it is, but it just comes down to what you said. People portray how they want to be seen, but they’re also showing it to the world, their specific friend group or whatever. And they’re looking, this is why I said I would disagree with your earlier statement, because people are looking for that validation from others.

And once you start looking for the validations of others, you start going down a very dangerous slippery slope because now your happiness is controlled by them. 

Stephani: Yep. 

Fabian: Rather than, Oh, Hey, I’m satisfied who I am. If people like it, cool. If not, whatever, you know? And that’s really where things changed for me, because I used to be that guy that posted everything that people kind of knew about. But at the same time, they didn’t really know me because they just saw one phase of me, but that’s all I posted. And on Facebook, when I posted for my family was just like when I went out or when I did like a family reunion or something like that. Or like a major event when I traveled somewhere. And that’s what I posted. 

But then, I know people that literally like, sorry Colorado people, I am always calling you out.  They literally go hiking three times a week just to post their cardboard sign “another fourteener” and it’s like, really guys?  Cool, good for you, but the fact that you’re posting it. Are you posting it for yourself to remember it? Or are you posting it so that other people can see that you go out, your life is interesting, that you exercise, that you hike, that you’re an outdoorsy person. What is it really? 

Like, if you can answer that question, why you posted that or why you share that with the world and other people. That’s when you can figure out really what’s happening. And by that I mean, if it’s really for you, keep doing it. There’s nothing wrong with posting it and sharing to the world or those million selfies on Instagram if it’s for you because it makes you feel good.  But is it really, is it really?

Stephani: I feel like any type of posting on social media, it’s never just going to be for you. If you’re taking that, if you’re taking that photo. As soon as you upload it to social media, then it’s no longer for you. Once you take the photo and it’s in your phone, that’s for you. But once it’s uploaded social media, then it’s no longer just for you.

Fabian: Yeah, I agree. I think there’s, there’s some beauty to sharing. You know, especially there’s people that you care about that you want to keep up to date. Then you start going into that like weird area, that gray area where it’s like, am I only keeping up to date through these posts. Why don’t we text? Why don’t we have phone calls? Why don’t we meet up in person? It’s because now a lot of that socialization is replaced with that. And then do you ask yourself, is that a real relationship or is that just a social media relationship? 

Stephani: Yep. 

Fabian: Are they real friends or are they just acquaintances? 

Stephani: Yup. So I guess that brings us into our topic today, which is…

Fabian: Keeping the mystery alive. 

Stephani: What does that mean to you exactly? 

Fabian: Means to never posts on social media. Really what I’d say it means is we are all very unique in our own ways. Some people more than others, but there’s like this obsession with sharing, oversharing, but sharing what you think people want to hear.

So keeping the mystery alive. There’s two things it’s being authentic to yourself, but it’s not crumbling when people are demanding more information. So let me share a story. Obviously before I used to obsess over validation from others and the social media and all this stuff. So I realized that was one of my weaknesses. That I, a lot of my self-worth and self-respect was validated from others or needed to be validated from others. 

Yes. I was very confident already by myself, but there was still like another 30, 40% that was dependant on others. No bueno. That’s really bad because if you don’t get it for any reason, everything starts crumbling. So I went on this journey of starting to not tell people. Not only in my personal life, coworkers, acquaintances. But also in stopping on social media, sharing my best accomplishments, my biggest wins.  Keeping it all private. People had to earn access to get that information. You want it, you have to be a really good friend or in my, the inner circle. 

Stephani: Question for you. So when you stopped, did anyone ask you about it? Did that, did people reach out to you? What happened then? Were people actually interested? Did people actually notice? Or was it just radio silence when you stopped posting? 

Fabian: That’s an excellent question and it’s the reason why I’m such a big proponent for it. The moment you go silent, but you still are interacting with people, but you don’t give them more than they deserve. And really when I say deserve is just, how long have you known this person? Are they a genuine friend? Do they actually care about you? Like, what are they gonna do with this information? Are you going to ever see them again? I mean, all those are relevant questions. 

The moment I stopped, like just even at work. I mean, I was already this weird guy. I was this young kid, killing it at my sales job. Both of my sales jobs, both in Seattle, here in Colorado. German, Mexican, diplomat kid, lived in so many countries, was not interested in only football and baseball, like 95% of the guys that worked there and that’s all they could talk about.

So everywhere I went, I was this enigma was this question mark. Then you stopped sharing and literally the amount of people that would come up to me and ask me questions. I’ve had literally guys and girls that would ask me, so like, Who are you, what’s your thing? And that was mind blowing to me that just by withholding information and almost like having this carrot on a stick by not sharing, you give them just enough. Give them your name, give them a brief background of maybe one cool story and then the radio silence. You will be chased and hunted as if you’re the most delicious prey in the Savannah. 

So that was mind blowing to me. And once I started doing the social media silence, the amount of messages, both personal, on my wall, texts, everything like people started aggressively reaching out. What’s happened? Like, are you alive? Like I had that question, are you even alive or did you die? Just because I stopped oversharing. And that’s when I’m like what a sad world we live in that, you know?

Stephani: That’s when they could just Google your name and obituary if they’re wondering if you actually passed away.

Fabian: Right? 

So really the takeaway is controlling the access, controlling what information you give and just giving enough. Where you’re not lying, you’re sharing your truth, but you get people interested. And if they really care about you, they’re going to follow up and want to know more. What are your thoughts on that?

Stephani: Well, I think you’re totally right. I know that when I deactivated Facebook, some people reached out to me. I was just like, I’m just not into it anymore,  it’s just a waste of time basically. 

I totally agree once you stop posting and once you get rid of that social media and they, people just are like, wait, what’s going on, what’s happening? It’s like, well, if you want to know, you could have just reached out to me via text, but it doesn’t have to be shared to the rest of your Facebook friend group, your fake friend group, or whatever social media platform. 

Sorry, I just keep calling out Facebook because it’s one of the most, largest used and it’s one of the ones that I used most.

Fabian: 100%. And that’s so interesting that you also felt that. And it’s almost kind of sad, because you realize that people are living, like, vicariously through you. They are like, Oh my God, like, what is she doing? What is he doing? But I’m like, Hey guys, I want to be more than just your social media friend. Like if you really care, let’s hang out, let’s grab a beer, let’s do that.

It’s kinda scary to see how many people really don’t want to put in the effort. That for me was, it was a little depressing when I realized how many people just don’t care enough to do so. If you don’t just hand it to them, they don’t want to know. Or, I mean, they do want to know, but they don’t want to work for it.

And I’m like, I’m not going to tell you what’s going on in my personal life if you don’t actually care about me. You don’t deserve that. 

Stephani: How did you find the correct amount of sharing versus, um, what you don’t want to share? 

Fabian: Well, yeah, there’s, there’s a dark side to that. And so I was-

Stephani: Hello, welcome to the dark side. This is the dark side portion of this talk. 

Fabian: Yeah. I mean, we’ll get into this a lot more and just kind of, one of the biggest reasons that started the whole Chaminger journey and my self-improvement journey to the extreme. But just kind of wasn’t happy in life with what I wanted. I thought if I did X, Y, Z, and accomplish those things that I would be successful, I’d be happy. So if one of those things was become a top sales rep at my company, make a lot of money, live a good life, live in a good apartment, have insane friend group, be followed, be adored, almost be like worshiped.

I wasn’t feeling it. I got it and I’m like, Whoa. I mean, it’s nice being able to just buy anything you want, do anything you want. Freedom is nice, but there’s a lot more. And I just wasn’t feeling satisfied, especially with the people I was surrounded with. So. I had this very dark period of self-reflection and heavy, like this, what is going on in my life?

This is kind of what inspired the Chaminger thing. Which is one of the big goals of this is starting a Ted Talk, becoming a speaker, and really just sharing my journey, our journey with other people to help people change their perspective, their mindset, their satisfaction, their happiness, all these things.

But it made me realize very quickly that I was insecure, even though I was portraying this confident person that had it all. And two, I needed the validation of others. So I went to the opposite to completely combate it. I’m like, well, how can I squash this issue? Stop posting at all, stopped doing any of that stuff. Stop telling people about any of my accomplishment, stop anything. 

So, humblebrag over here. Right around that time, I had actually purchased a Tesla, Model Three, performance, super proud of it. I hadn’t ever really invested into cars, so I’d been saving a lot of money. It was a big upgrade, it was a major milestone. Most people would brag about that and post about that and tell everyone about it. And the first time they meet with someone, Hey man, I’ve just got a new car. Hey man, I just got a new car. I didn’t tell anyone, because I wanted to make sure that anything that I did from this point forward, I did it for me. 

I could tell other people, if they really asked like, Hey man, well, what car do you drive? I would answer the question, but I would never share it upfront unless someone asked. And the reason for that was to prove to myself that I was doing it for me. 

So I got that because it’s nice on long rides, you can just chill out. I could do sales phone calls. I could talk to my boss. I could even be on my laptop working while in the car and just, it’s so much more relaxing in traffic. I’m all about smart technology. It was a purchase that was for me and I felt good with it. And I was like, wow, this feels awesome not telling anyone. No one knows that about me. And you know that here’s where the dark side comes. I see- 

Stephani: Well, before you, before you say that, I just want to say that is a really awesome test for yourself to know if you’re doing it for other people or you’re doing it for yourself. Don’t share some big news with everyone, unless they ask. I think that’s a really, really great test. And you passed with flying colors. Yay. Proud of you. Um, but sorry to interrupt. I just want to just share that is a really good way to do that.

Fabian: Thank you. I love that. That’s a great takeaway. I think we should be doing that more in general in our lives for it many things. You don’t have to tell people, just show them the results down the road. And if they ask, you can tell them, but if they ask it’s cause they’re genuinely interested.

The dark side was that  I went from oversharing to now not sharing. So the problem was, I also stopped bragging about myself. I stopped selling myself and that’s weird because people would be like, but you’re a sales rep. You’re like the top, one of the top sales guys at like a top medical software company, how could you not, how do you not know how to sell yourself? And it was because I was so adamant not to brag about myself, not to overshare, not to do things for other people’s validation. I completely stopped. 

So the dark side came from that I became so private. So, don’t talk about any of my accomplishments. A lot of people started taking me for granted and under appreciating me. And that’s a sad reality that you have to find a middle line, but it’s a lesson. Like, don’t swing the pendulum too far back the other way, there’s a middle point. But you might have to at first to find that middle point. But I mean, I just know at work, like they, I literally had the best numbers on my team, yet I was still considered  mediocre. They just didn’t think about it. 

And then all of a sudden, I started speaking up after I started realizing this and telling all my knowledge and sharing my knowledge and my expertise and things. All the sudden, everyone was like, Oh my goodness, you’re a god. And that’s when I’m like, Oh, I should have been doing a little bit more of that from the beginning.

Stephani: It’s hard though. Especially when you first start out on that journey, you know? You’re trying to stay true to what you decided that you wanted to be and what you wanted to share and that you didn’t want to overshare. And you just don’t think about what could be the downsides, until you basically run into the wall with those downsides. And then it’s like, Oh wait, didn’t mean to do that. 

So I’m glad that you shared that as well, because people definitely need to keep that in mind too. If they want to go on that journey of not sharing those, those big moments.  They also have to remember that there are some things that you may want to, um, you know, toot your own horn sometimes as well.

Fabian: Yep.

Stephani: In those right times. 

Fabian: I think that’s a perfect way to start transitioning to the lesson. Just recapping at this point. It really, it’s so important guys. Seriously, everyone should be doing things for themselves. Do it for you. Stop looking for other people’s validation. 

And go on, do a test. Put a time period, like a one month period of like, Hey, I’m going to stop posting social media. Unless it’s something that I am sharing it to specific people or something like that. Try that and see how you feel, see if you feel confident. Next time you want to buy something, ask yourself why you’re buying it. What problem are you solving? Are you buying it for yourself? Are you buying for someone else? 

Next time you buy a piece of clothing or something, an article of clothing, why did you get it? And you doing it to impress your coworkers, are you trying to impress your friends? You know, there’s, there’s reasons to do it, but at the end of the day, you should feel good. It should make you feel better. So go on this journey. But don’t go too extreme. 

Stephani: I think that there, there’s a way that you can do some of those things that it’s almost like baby steps. Like you said, posting something on social media, maybe scale it back a little bit. You know, maybe not post as much and see how you feel. You’re going to feel fine because your life is still happening. You’re just not sharing it with the rest of the world. 

You can do it in baby steps, you don’t have to go to the extreme. Some people probably should. Some people probably need that for themselves just because they may be addicted to the feeling of other people giving them validation and whatnot and seeing people’s reactions. So, some people may need that. 

And once you start doing those baby steps, you may see that it’s not working. Because you may need, almost like, to go cold turkey. But, some people may be able to just take baby steps. And just remember that everyone’s journey is their own. Take the time to realize what you need and where your middle ground is going to be. 

Fabian: Yes. Thank you for sharing that. It’s so important to figure out what works for you, because what works for me, what works for you might not work for someone else. 

Stephani: Exactly. 

Fabian: So learning that piece is critical, but you only learn it by doing. And really this will transition into many other times and other topics that we talk about, which is  where you get your self esteem and your self-awareness from and it should never be from other people. Your self worth should be exclusively you. You shouldn’t be attaching it to like other things, objects, your job, friends, family. It should be exclusively what do you think about yourself and if you’re proud of it.

 That’s a topic for another time, but I feel like keeping the mystery alive ties into that. So many people don’t do it because they like the only way they can get self-worth is if everyone else tells them that they’re amazing, or they’re hot, or they’re good-looking, or they’re smart, or they’re good at this. 

There is a room for that. It always is very satisfying to hear that from other people, especially when it’s not prompted. Someone comes up to you and is like, Hey, you’re the best speaker I’ve ever seen. And you didn’t mention anything about it, you’ve just been talking, you’re like what’s up. 

And I think there’s a lot to be said about that. If you’re a master at something, people are going to tell you. You don’t need to tell them. 

Stephani: Yeah. 

Fabian: There is a place, a time and place to brag about yourself and sell yourself because at the end of the day, being too humbling, having too much humility can also be dark. 

Stephani: Exactly. Don’t want to get to Fabian’s dark sides.

Fabian: Yes. 

Stephani: Well with that said, we just want to thank everyone for tuning in today. There’s a lot more to come from the Chaminger brand and we’re excited to share it with you all. So please remember to follow, comment and like our pages and remember to tune in next time, because we love to have you guys here.

Fabian: Before you guys go, let us know, when was the time you’ve kept the mystery alive. And when was the time that you have not? And have you seen a positive or negative impact there? See you guys next time on-

Stephani: Stay amazing.

Fabian: My 3 Cents. Stay amazing.

April 25, 2021

Official Podcast Launch! My 3 Cents Episode #1

We are so happy to announce and celebrate the official podcast launch – My 3 Cents; the first episode of Chaminger Becoming Xceptional. This is a momentous occasion and starts us on a path to helping others and creating a legacy. Check out the audio and transcript of our entire episode below. We appreciate you for starting the journey to #BecomingXceptional with us!

April 19, 2021

My 3 Cents Trailer released!

Hello everybody! How are we today? We are extremely excited to announce the release of our trailer for our podcast show: Chaminger: Becoming Xceptional – My 3 Cents. We have the audio, video and written version available for your consumption pleasure. What can you expect?

My 3 Cents is a series that teaches others through the power of true stories how to become ‘Xceptional’ – meaning: a confident, happy, authentic, and self-aware person. Learn the nuances of success; mastering the art of perspective, mindset, social skills, finding your passion and breaking free from the shackles of judgement. You are not going through this journey alone and finally realize your amazing value! Live the Chaminger Xperience!

Official Launch for our podcast: Saturday, April 24th, 2021! Save the date. This is one journey you can’t miss!

Audio:

My 3 Cents Trailer
My 3 Cents Trailer
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Transcript:

Fabian: Hello everybody. How are we today? My name is Fabian Chagoya.

Stephani: And my name is Stephani Furminger and you are listening to Chaminger: Becoming Xceptional.

Fabian: And this is My 3 Cents.

I love traveling and I love talking to people, that’s what that job was; it was selling, slash marketing about the idea of travel. And it was just talking to people, sharing my beliefs, sharing my passion; just getting people to be aware that there’s a lot larger world out there. Being cultured, having more perspective.

Technology and these tools have kind of infiltrated our lives, in a way I would say. To the point where nothing is really hidden anymore.

How many people were watching my stories, who’s watching it, like all these stuff. I’m like, why does that matter? I mean, am I not doing it for myself?

Stephani: It just almost becomes, like, you’re not living in the current moment. 

Fabian: And once you start looking for the validations of others, you start going down a very dangerous slippery slope, because now your happiness is controlled by them. Rather than, Oh, Hey, I’m satisfied with who I am.

As a part of this journey to Becoming Xceptional, obviously we’re trying to show people, not just talk about it, but also show people, cause we’re living it. There’s this day-to-day aspect of you got to put in the work, but you always gotta be trying to strive to be better. 

Stephani: A lot of people just get complacent and they feel comfortable on that plane, so they just stay there. Don’t just keep doing the same thing every single day, just because you are comfortable with that.

Fabian: Why do we need to be the same person that we were five years ago, four years ago, three years ago, whatever it is. Why can’t we change constantly?

Stephani: There’s a lot more comin and we’re coming in hot.